MY URBAN KVETCH

#GoldenGlobes 2015, Storified

True, the Golden Globes were last weekend. And today, everyone seems to be about football. But I'm still thinking about last week's great moments, and curated some of them into this Storify. So if you enjoyed all the snarky banter of last week, as Tina Fey and Amy Poehler did their magical comedy, celebrities got sweaty, Clooney got sappy, Allison Janney lost it over Prince, and Jill Soloway's Transparent garnered praise and mazel tovs, you'll like this recap of some of my tweets and those from others - writers, producers, news outlets and other civilians - who watched and commented. 

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#ComedyForaChange Conference, Storified

Very proud to have been part of the Comedy for a Change conference in Jerusalem in December, as an attendee and also as their manager of social media (and live-Tweeter-in-chief).

Check out my blog recap here, part one of the Storify below, and if you're totally connecting to this concept of comedy making a change in the world and MUST HAVE MORE, here are links to Day 2's Storify, as well as the conference in photos (also storified).

Here's to using laughter to pave the road to peace and co-existence...

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The Red Tent (Lifetime TV version) Drinking Game

In 1997, Anita Diamant published The Red Tent, a novel inspired by the Biblical story of Dinah, the daughter of Jacob and Leah, who – despite inspiring one of the bloodiest chapters in early Biblical history – never speaks a word in the text. Diamant gave her a voice and a context that enthralled many readers, and even enraged a few, showing that her work interpreting biblical characters and context had really touched a nerve.

Tonight and tomorrow night, Lifetime Television airs its original two-part miniseries (not written or necessarily sanctioned by Diamant) of The Red Tent, starring Minnie Driver as Leah, Morena Baccarin as Rachel, Iain O’Glen as Jacob and Rebecca Ferguson as Dinah. After catching part one at a screening, it occurred to me that what this interpretation of Diamant’s book (itself an interpretation of and vast extrapolation from the biblical text) required was group watching, plust a bit of alcohol. (Friends who not consume alcohol may substitute caffeine. Friends who consume neither alcohol nor caffeine are probably not reading this because they are out being productive citizens who sleep 8 hours night. But feel free to substitute another fizzy beverage that will at least enable you to belch like those who are indulging.)

The following educational drinking game is inspired by part one, but I can imagine that many of these rules will hold throughout the mini-series.

One Day, 24 Sessions: Join Me Online Sunday for 24x24 #TheGlobalDay

Heroes & Villains. Saints & Fools. These characters populate literature of all kinds, from contemporary culture extending back to sacred texts and storytelling traditions. On this Sunday, November 16, tune into a special exploration of this subject, in a one-day, round-the-clock, open-to-everyone learning opportunity for everyone, no matter where you are! Don't miss this free chance to engage with Rabbi Adin Even-Israel Steinsaltz and more luminaries of learning.

And they'll even have at least one non-luminary-who-may-still-have-something-to-contribute, as is evidenced by the fact that I'm co-teaching a session with Accidental Talmudist and filmmaker Salvador Litvak. We'll be schmoozing about control of the media, shaping the message and how the megillah's characters wielded their power to connect and communicate...open to all!

Check out the latest schedule at www.theglobalday.org/24x24 - hope you'll join me for my session (info below), or for one of the other 23 sessions planned this coming Sunday! 

Esther, Mordecai, and What Happens When Jews Really Do Control the Media

From the letters condemning the Jews to the letters that saved them, most of the Purim story depends on written messages. It’s no coincidence that the Persian-Medean kings drew much of their power from a precedent-setting communications system – the same system Mordechai and Esther needed to control in order to save the Jewish people.

Join Accidental Talmudist Salvador Litvak and writer/consultant Esther Kustanowitz for a discussion about cautious speech, responsible media practices and the power of the written word, through the lens of Purim and the Book of Esther.

Do Jews Make Everything Funnier?

Jews have always been involved in the American comedy scene. I won't get into the history, frankly because I don't have that kind of time right now. But this December, a group of writers and content creators/producers are gathering in Jerusalem to talk about Jews, comedy and how the two can come together for social change in a first-of-its-kind conference called "Comedy for a Change." And to celebrate Jews and comedy - and promote the conference - the organizers (including the incredible and creative Omri Marcus, profiled in Tablet Magazine earlier this year) have unleashed GoHora.com, a somehow alarmingly-perfect mashup of today's greatest musical hits and videos of people doing Israeli dancing. (So if the goal was to prove that Jews could make those songs funnier, then DONE.) 

Featuring some of the world's leading TV writers and execs, including BBC Director of Television Danny Cohen, as speakers, the Comedy for a Change conference is designed to address how, in today's modern media reality, comedy can be a powerful game changer. What's funny today? What's taboo? And what will happen when writers - the comedy and content creators from all over the world - come together with the idea of change as an organizing principle?

Speakers hail from countries including the US, Canada, Israel, The Netherlands, Denmark and others, and include Natalie Marcus and Assaf Beiser, the co-creators of the recently-aired, envelope-pushing historical sketch comedy show, "The Jews Are Coming" (which I wrote about here last year, and which is the subject of an upcoming follow-up piece). The agenda also features a salute to the late Joan Rivers, and the mayor of Jerusalem being interviewed by a puppet. In one session, writers of the American, German and Israeli versions of "The Office" will gather in a workshop called - of course - "That's What She Said." (Full agenda is here.)

 

Who Do You Know?: #JFNAGA Bingo

No #JFNAGA social media meet up is complete without a Bibibomb...(Denver GA)

For the last several years, I have been to (several, but not all of) the Jewish Federations of North America General Assembly, an annual gathering of mostly Federation professionals, but with representation from many different Jewish nonprofit organizations. Last year was in Israel, so I didn't go. (Too expensive, and no one invited me to be a paid organizer, speaker or presenter, like I had been in Nashville, New Orleans, Denver and Baltimore.) This year is in National Harbor, MD, and again, I'm part of what is becoming known as the #coalitionoftheleftbehind, an ever-changing group of Jewish professionals who feel left out as people begin tweeting about a Jewish conference experience that we're not at.

Sometimes being left behind leads to mournful tweets about FOMO (fear of missing out on great people and conversations). And everyone on-site always talks about how the conference isn't about the sessions but about the networking, and how they wish they could meet more people. So I decided to do something in the spirit of fun. And once the idea occurred to me, I couldn't imagine why no one had done it before. So here's your GA icebreaker/scavenger hunt/Jewish geography-based game. Presenting: #JFNAGABingo. Print it out or play with your friends and use the hashtags. Enjoy!!

Halloween Zombie Blog Post: "A Yeshiva Girl's First Halloween"

My friend Brett, as Van Gogh. Me as...what? I'm wearing a glitter headband and big earrings. Thought I was an 80s club diva. But that's not a costume.

Eight years ago, I wrote about my first Halloween. Here is that "zombie blog post," back from the "mostly-dead" Idol Chatter blog-that-has-ceased-to-be, freshly revived (I mean, "heavily revised" - with new references to INTERNET! BUFFY! and GOLEMS! ) and ready to eat your brain. Enjoy my Halloween grinchiness! 

A Yeshiva Girl's First Halloween
by Esther D. Kustanowitz (revised 2014)

“What did you wear the last time you trick-or-treated?” my college friends asked.

“Umm, I’ve never been trick-or-treating.”

Their silence made me realize I had managed to terrify my friends on Halloween–quite a good first effort at the holiday.

Growing up in suburban New Jersey, I always knew what Halloween was: the week when television switched to a “Fright Night/Shocktober” format, candy unveiled its fall color palate, and packages of food suddenly sported ghosts, witches, skeletons and corpses (very appetizing). And it was also always the week when my yeshiva (Jewish religious school) sent home a letter to parents informing them that Halloween was a pagan holiday that had become a fulcrum for mischief and destructive pranks–sometimes of an anti-Semitic nature. We had Purim as our designated dressup day. It was highly advised that we not be permitted to participate in any Halloween celebrations.

Halloween's real impact was the constant ringing of our doorbell, as trick-or-treaters made their way down the block. My brothers and I would open the door and distribute candy to costumed kids, occasionally pocketing a piece of candy for ourselves, and never whining to my parents to let us participate. It wasn’t our faith. It wasn’t our holiday.

When I got to college, I realized that I had missed something vital in the secular calendar cycle. As October waned, people started talking about Halloween–instead of door-to-door candy collecting, there were fraternity keg parties and prizes for best costume. Costume strategies for men involved creativity and for women often included cleavage. My friend Mike dressed as a Mother Superior (he came out a few years later). Gary went as "Lampshade Man,” sticking a lampshade on his head, going up to women and saying “Turn me on!” Debbie dressed as a phone–she drew a telephone keypad (remember those?) on a white t-shirt, attached a phone receiver (remember those?) to a headband, and went to a party saying, “Ring, ring, I’m for you! Pick me up!”

My friends vowed to take me trick-or-treating, and for an authentic experience, they made me dress up. I raided my conservative closet and selected a longsleeved black shirt, a pretty modest, nearly-above-the-knee skirt, tights, and boots. (New Jersey in October, you know.) I didn’t look that different from shul-going Upper West Siders, but we added a bright lipstick, and my friends proclaimed the costume “a prostitute.” (Huzzah, college empowerment!)

We left campus and went to the suburbs of East Brunswick. House by house, as people - expecting local children - opened their doors, we yelled “trick or treat” and thrust out our bags waiting for them to deposit the candy goodness. But the homeowners were suspicious. “Aren’t you a little old for this?” So we upped our game, offering a trade: our singing services for their candy. “Halloween carols? Really?” one homeowner queried. “Sure!” we agreed. (I obviously had never been caroling either, so this was a double treat.) We were the singing telegrams no one had asked for - starting with some classics, Frank and Broadway show tunes, and moved to some more contemporary stuff. Debbie Gibson songs may have been involved.

That first time was a little weird, and uncomfortable, and not because of our caroling - it felt like I was pretending not to be Jewish. But most of the friends I was out with that night were also Jewish; they were just used to Halloween - celebrating it for them hearkened back to fond childhood memories. All I had was the inherited fear of something that used to be called "Mischief Night" or "Goosey Night," and the instilled guilt over celebrating something that didn't feel like my holiday.

I appreciate the creativity of a good costume - even more so now, with the internet enabling so much creative costume-sharing. But some of the more graphic costumes seem to have lost their fun. I'm a loyal fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, for its mythology, humor and empowerment themes - but bereft of that context, bloody monster masks left me unsettled. After endless CNN footage of 9/11, I found the “bloodied accident victim” genre disturbing. And then there are the "sexy ______" costumes, providing an excuse to wear revealing outfits and drink until they can’t tell the difference between friends and friends-with-benefits. Which may suit everyone else fine, but that kind of obfuscation usually isn’t necessarily my cup of poison. Even on the Jewish holiday of Purim, a yeshiva girl’s approved day of dress-up, I’m always paralyzed when it comes to costume creation. My costumes are typically more clever, based on a turn of phrase ("media queen") or something else that needs to be explained ("the cliches of JDate"), rather than "sexy golem" (which come to think of it, isn't a bad idea.) So when it comes to Halloween, I hope my friends have an amazing time, but I generally opt out.

Of course, you never know. Maybe someday I’ll come around. There is definitely something appealing about a day of fun and freedom from the strictures of contemporary dress and behavior. And, oh, the candy. (Which, hot tip, goes on sale at most stores after Halloween for 50-75% off. You're welcome.) But I probably won't be doing much this Halloween. Unless you happen upon a group of trick-or-treaters singing show tunes, in which case I expect you to text me immediately.

Happy Halloween!! (You know, if that's like, your thing. No judgments.)

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"Wearing California" and "Self-Definition" - Found Writing

This week marks my sixth LAnniversary (it's October 16, actually, but that will be a holiday and I'll be offline), so I started digging around for some of the things I wrote when I moved here. I found a piece that I reconstructed the morning after I lost the original because of a computer crash, and two pieces from my LAnniversary week in 2009, contemplating Hollywood after attending a conference, and a piece that is sort of about the weather, but more about the climate of L.A. in the larger sense. Here's a little unpublished something, found inside one of my many notebooks, from my first LAnniversary, on October 16, 2009. 

I'm wearing California today - tones of turquoise reflecting cloudless sky and vast potential. My feet in flip-flops, part of the CA uniform, next best thing to barefoot (although, oddly, somewhat less comfortable). I also ate California today - vegan salad with pomegranate seeds, avocadoes, fennel mint and a "living dressing." 

Self-definition is a process - turning the inner earth of you over and over, filling the soiled parts of your life and trying to place yourself in a context that (first) you and (then) everyone else can understand. But even after you think you've mastered your own self-definition, along comes every moment of every day thereafter.

As you move through people's orbits, beginning some relationships and ending others, life tempts you to keep your self-definition secret, obscuring some segments of truth and embellishing others. And then the challenge emerges: as you verbalize the version of yourself you present to others, you take in those words, process them like oxygen fuels your blood, and they become a part of you, infiltrating the you you thought you were, but changing its shape, maybe slightly, or maybe drastically, transforming you into a you that even you wouldn't recognize.

And many thanks to all of you who have helped me - the me I thought I was then, the me I believe myself to be now, and the me that you perceive me to be - feel at home here...

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What Do You Regret?: A High Holidays Reflection

Everyone has something they regret. (image via http://techneur.com/post/2315611963/regret-minimization-framework)

"It's the season of spiritual inventory and self-reflection. What do you regret? What aching, burning yearning or deep guilt has trailed you for years? Be brave. Reflect & write."

 

And with this writing prompt, IKAR asked members - as they do every year - to reflect on the year gone by, and submit personal stories on a particular theme; these essays and paragraphs are then published in a book distributed at IKAR during the High Holidays, providing an additional opportunity for congregants to connect with renewal, repentance and change. In 2011, it was Epiphany. In 2012, it was Courage and Cowardice. I missed participating last year. And this year, IKAR members were asked to tackle the subject of Regret.  My submission is below. Wishing you all a reflective, inspiring, healthy and peaceful new year. 

 

Regret is a trap. You regret things you've done, or according to the adage, you mostly regret the things you don't do, the possibilities that came your way but which you were too scared, cautious, or irresponsible to pursue. But if my regret had a Facebook relationship status, it would be a solid "it's complicated." 

 

I regret things I have done and things I haven't done, words I have said, and words I haven't said. I regret trusting too much and not trusting enough. In alternating dramatic moments, I regret nothing - I am staunch, resolute and strong; and I regret everything - I am ashamed, humble and penitent. 

 

Communally, we catalogue our annual regrets in the language of liturgy, in rituals meant to mimic release - of guilt, anger, sin and regret. But as we stand at the bank, we pitch our iniquities into water, watching waves carry them forward toward a horizon. But it's not long before those same waves return sins to sender; the crumbs land at our feet, nudging at our toes, saying "your sins have been returned for additional processing." This is the way of waves. 

 

Regret is that same trap, the surf that ebbs and flows, always receding and always returning. We can let the regret possess us, control our past guilt, obsess our thoughts in the coming year. Or we can let it guide, instruct, but not dominate what we do from here on in. As the musical says, "forget regret, or life is yours to miss."

 

Like I said, it's complicated.

(Palindrome) New Year's Eve - Rosh Hashanah 5775

Tonight is Rosh Hashanah, the start of the new Jewish year - it's been a bit of a crazy year for me, as my return to freelancing has landed me with great companies and organizations, like Pictures From the Fringe (follow us on Facebook & Twitter), G-dcast (check out eScapegoat & SinfulGoat) & ELI Talks (check out this talk about God and this one about hacking Judaism), among others. I'm also relaunching EstherK.com with fresh content coming soon, and am starting to put together a newsletter to share helpful social media tips, interesting articles and things I've written, so stay tuned. 

This coming year is 5775, which I realized a few weeks back is a palindrome. Since I missed all the fun with 2002 (no one was really allowed to have fun that year) and don't remember why I didn't figure this out in 1991, I decided to pay tribute to this special occasion by playing around on Imgur.com. (This is obviously a tradition that dates back to rabbinic times.)

Below are some of the results of this experiment, with apologies to Girls, The Simpsons, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and Frozen. Wishing you and your families a wonderful new year, of health, happiness and humor.

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