MY URBAN KVETCH

@EstherK's 2013 #Oscars Twitter Recap

Via FanPop

I used to be very serious about my Oscar parties - inviting the right friends, having some lovely snacks and perhaps even dressing up a bit in mimicry of the red carpet madness. But then I found that people were betting on the results, being loud and talking over the presenters, and generally not letting me hear or experience the moments that would be water-cooler dissected at work the next morning. Now I have my Oscar party on Twitter, which allows me to dress how I want, multitask more efficiently, and to share my comments with the people who are hungry for second-screen content. (See here for my Golden Globes Twitter recap, as well as my liveblog of the Oscars back from 2009.)

Below are some of my tweets from last night, recapping some of Oscars' more memorable moments.

Red Carpet

• Just opened a @tweetdeck column for #oscars, and the feed was moving too fast for even me to read.
• Anne Hathaway's dress is pointing upward toward success. #oscars
• I'm going to start an @indiegogo campaign to get Kristin Chenoweth an interviewing stepstool. #oscars
• Red carpets = embodiment of awkward. The small talk is so uncomfortable it almost feels like running into former JDates at a party.

Seth MacFarlane Opening

• Nothing like a good Mel Gibson joke to prove the writers are up on current events. #oscars
• Oscars negotiator Captain James T. Kirk - "why can't Tina and Amy host everything?" #exactly
• You may not enjoy Seth MacFarlane, but the dude can sing. #oscars #tinaandamyoscars2014
• Truth. Also #tinaandamyoscars2014 RT @rachelsklar: That extravaganza was missing one thing: Jon Hamm.
• RT @ThatKevinSmith: @SethMacFarlane could play Elder Price in BOOK OF MORMON. Dude can sing, dance & looks squeaky clean. #SMoscars #oscars

The Awards Begin...

• "If you had the chance to change your fate, wouldjeh?" #whatiheareverytimeihearthewordBrave #oscars
• New idea: Lock Fey, Poehler, Rudd, McCarthy & Hamm in a room for a week w/a bunch of writers, then they five-way host the #oscars.
• #oscars - Jaws music to pay them off...funny, awkward and awesome. #jawsmusicforoscarscohost
• Remembering how I tapped Brosnan as a future Bond in his Remington Steele days. Ohhhh, James...#oscars #castinggenius
• Liam Neeson, now and forever, associated with the Schindler's List theme music. #oscars #oscarredforlife
• "Les Miserabless." - John Travolta introducing musical medley. #oscars #jazzhands
• Agreed. Skidoo. RT @rabbilaufer: My biggest criticism of this Chicago number? No jazz hands. #Oscars
• Jennifer Hudson singing "And I'm Telling You..." still tweaks my tear ducts. #oscars #imgonnaloveher
• #oscars staging: "Let's have Crowe walk out with Bonham Carter and Baron Cohen so no one boos him."
• Jews. Hollywood. What a hilarious and astute observation. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to the secret synagogue meeting. #not #oscars
• Legit LOL. #oscars RT @ElBloombito: Yo soy bañning los songos de Les Miserables. Yo dreamed un dreamo that todos que stopped singingo.
• I definitely just heard the announcer announce the presenter named "Nick Kroll Kidman." #oscars #canigetasoundcheck
• Barbra singing "Memories" is a Hollywood kaddish. RT @Kveller: Now is when they say Kaddish. #toojewish? #oscars
• My roommate when "Skyfall" won: "Adele has a last name?" #oscars
• "This will be the writers' year, man." Quentin Tarantino, sealing my fate for 2013. Unless he means only one writer, and only a man. #oscars
• In case you thought you couldn't like Jennifer Lawrence any more {TRIPS AND FALLS}. Ta-da! #oscars
• Movie titles that can also apply to Jennifer Lawrence's loss of footing: Flight, Skyfall #oscars 
  [subsequently added Djennifer Unbalanced and My Two Left Feet]
• How do you like THEM apples? RT @BurtonJM: He can write, he can produce, and yes he can direct (& sometimes act): Ben Affleck
• I totally just tripped on my dress and fell on the stairs up to my apartment. Do you love me even more now? #jenniferlawrencenation #oscars
• Glad that this #oscars show carried through - to the very last moments - the apparent theme of "AWK-ward."

Thank you for joining @estherk for Oscars 2013...see you next awards season!

Twitter Recap: The Golden Globes 2013

For the first half of the Golden Globes I was multitasking and didn't pay any attention to Tweeting. And then Ah-nuld and Sly showed up, and it was on.

Here are some of my Tweets from the Golden Globes. As you can see, I spent the night wishing for more of the co-hosts, the worship-worthy Tina Fey and Amy Poehler (at left in a FoxNews photo). All Tweets were tagged with #goldenglobes (which I removed from the posts below) and sometimes other snarkiness (which I left in the posts below). I moved a few of them around in the chronology for the purpose of this post.

Enjoy, and see you at the Oscars! (Well, not at the Oscars. But probably online at the Oscars.) - EK

 

Best Foreign Film

• Question: How do Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger know where to put their ties? I can't tell where their necks are.

Best Screenplay

• I'm adding "this is a damn surprise" to my list of go-to exclamations. #qt #quentintarantinoftw
• For all his bluster, I think Quentin Tarantino still really loves being part of Hollywood. Like he remembers he's a video clerk made good.
• Need. More. Tina & Amy. 

Best Actress, Comedy or Musical

• Loved Amy's canoodling with Clooney during the nominees' announcement.
• Fancy dress. Tats. #girls #lenaftw
• Finding the fact that @lenadunham can't walk in her fancy shoes endearing. 

Best Animated Feature

• Cannot hear the music from Brave without saying aloud, "If you could change yer fate, wouldjeh?"

Cecil B. Demille Award

• Robert Downey Jr.: "...so versatile he has played Iron Man in three different movies." Tina, je t'adore.
• Jodie Foster has been so good for so long. She's fabulous, looks great, & she just redundantly came out.
• Jodie Foster's kids Charlie and Kit look like an older and younger version of themselves.
• It actually shouldn't surprise me that Jodie Foster has mastered cloning. She's really smart. #kitandcharlie
• I think Jodie Foster just retired from acting...and made all the women in the audience cry.

Best Director

• Lookin' fine, Ben Affleck. #betterwithabeard #howdyalikethemapples

Best TV Series, Comedy or Musical

• Thanks to @juddapatow for his championing unique voices like@lenadunham's 
• I thought Amy Poehler and Tina Fey were hosting this show...

Best Actor, Drama

• Hey everyone, remember when Bradley Cooper was the lovelorn bestie of Jennifer Garner on #alias? I do. 

Best Actress, Drama

• Can you tell Marion Cotillard and Rachel Weisz apart? Maybe the HFPA can't either, split the difference, and picked the redhead?

Best Actor, Drama

• If you look closely at Daniel Day-Lewis, you can watch the contours of his face morphing into Jeremy Irons. He's that good.

Best Picture

• Is Julia Roberts wearing coulats? And is that how you spell coulats? (readers later corrected my spelling to "culottes")

And in conclusion...

• If I ever have to draw a square, I will do so by tracing over a photo of Josh Brolin's jaw. 
• The takeaway from tonight: Victor Garber, Jennifer Garner, Bradley Cooper...good #alias representation.
• I want to study lipreading so I can know what #goldenglobes celebs are saying when the camera pans to them right before commercial breaks.
• Tina Fey and Amy Poehler - grossly underused tonight. Disappointed.

 See y'all in the Oscars tweetstream...

Mini-Me Helps ROI Community Promote Micro Grants

Hi, and welcome to a headline I never imagined would exist. But yet, it does.

While it wasn't a Purim joke, the timed release of this video illustrates a sense of humor that it most appropriate for this season. Plus, the location is truly inspired.

The new ROI Community Micro Grants were created in order to enable ROIers to pursue speaking engagements, programming and professional advancement opportunities that otherwise would have remained out of reach financially. They are available only to members of the ROI network, but the video is up on YouTube for everyone to enjoy. And hopefully, these new grants will enable members of the ROI network to extend their reach as speakers and project creators, perhaps even into your community.

(You can read more about the ROI Micro Grants here.)

Oscars and Not-Oscars: Predictions and Video

Today is Oscars Day in Hollywood. For the 2nd straight year, no one has invited me to the red carpet or to the awards. This is obviously a huge oversight. In protest, I've not seen any of the nominated films, except "A Serious Man," which was required of all Jews.

However, I was recently invited to the Movieguide Awards (OK, so I invited myself, but are we really going to quibble about semantics?) I created one video post for Beliefnet's Idol Chatter (the official reason I was there), and just uploaded the "scenes that didn't quite make it" (see link at left or embed below) - and yes, the Melora Hardin interview appears in both because I love Jan Levinson. 

But I thought that beyond the Movieguide Awards, I might take a few moments to make some Oscar predictions. These premonitions, these insights into the inner workings of Hollywood have been gleaned through careful analysis of contemporary trends, delving into celebrity psyches, and general observations of the non-blue human species. And might make an excellent drinking game. (Drink responsibly, kids.)

Esther's 2010 Oscars Predictions/Drinking Game

1. Mo'nique will a) thank God/Jesus, b) cry, c) hyperventilate. (This is not a multiple choice quiz - she may do all of these.)

2. Quentin Tarantino - through a manic, energy-infused frenzy of disbelief - will a) dedicate his award to justice or the triumph of good over evil, b) possibly mention Jews, and c) (although this is an outside possibility) mention Hitler.

3. Some otherwise attractive actress will wear something awful to the red carpet. Another actress - potentially one who doesn't fit the typical Hollywood size - will be lauded for her fashion bravery or maligned for trying to wear something nice in her size. And young actresses (under 20) will be dressed up to look like they're 30.

4. The Coens will sport some strange facial hair.

5. Jeff Bridges will invoke the memory of his late father and perhaps mention Beau/the Fabulous Baker Boys. Also, keep your ears ready for the name "T-Bone."

6. Jokes will center on the following themes: blue skin, James Cameron making a lot of money, Quentin Tarantino, revenge on Hitler, the fact that there are 10 Best Picture nominees, the awkward "battle of the exes" (James Cameron v. Catherine Bigelow), with perhaps a riff on the Yiddish opening segment of "A Serious Man."  

7. Colin Firth will be overlooked tonight. But he'll win someday.

8. There will be moments of imposed sadness, as nominees mention Haiti and other disasters around the world. Then they will all donate their gift bags and the proceeds of their next films to disaster relief. (Just kidding about that second part. Although I'd be delighted if they proved me wrong.)

9. Peter Jackson will go home without an Oscar. But he already has enough of the Precious, right?

10. George Clooney will look awesome, and flash that smile at anyone who talks to him. That smile, by the way, is like that magic light in "Men in Black," except instead of making people forget they've seen aliens, it makes people forget Clooney's "Facts of Life" mullet.

11. Helen Mirren will look awesome and someone will make a GILF joke. Meryl Streep may make a strange fashion choice, but is so awesome that no one will care.

12. Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin will engage in witty banter and show us why Oscars-hosting is tough, even for pros. Although I also think they might totally rock. Potentially, jokes about: Alec in Beetlejuice, Steve's arrow-through-the-head beginnings, the scene in "It's Complicated" where Steve catches a view of Alec's business, some reference to Meryl Streep, 30 Rock and Saturday Night Live.

13. Israel vs. Germany in the Best Foreign Film category. If I took my Delorean back to 1945, no one would believe it. And if Germany wins, Quentin might use his "Basterds" Oscar to bash Germany over the head.

14. Big tears and applause during this year's Death Montage. I mean, "In Memoriam" segment.

15. Someone will make a joke about Facebook or Twitter.

16. You will not win your Oscars pool.

17. You will find the musical numbers pointless.

18. You will eat too much (and possibly drink too much, even without this drinking game) at your Oscars party.

19. Someone will get "played off" way before they've thanked everyone because they spent the first minute at the podium "OhMyGod'ing." I'm looking at you, Mo'nique and Sandra Bullock.

20. No one will ask George Clooney, "Hey, where's @EstherK?

And now, that footage I promised, featuring Melora Hardin, some kid from Wizards of Waverly Place (What's that? Exactly...), and Heroes.

"Writing for Hollywood" - A Contemplation

Ever since I moved here a year ago, people have been voicing their predictions/assumptions about what I'd come out here to do. "You're totally moving out there to write a screenplay, I know it," some opined, while others were convinced I'd write the next "Friends" ("It'll be Jewish! And set on the Upper West Side! And instead of going to Central Perk, they'll go to shul!") One of my friends is convinced I'm destined to be the lady version of Judd Apatow, and yet another keeps reminding me that "if Matt Damon and Ben Affleck can write a screenplay, so can you." 

My goals for myself were slightly more modest: I wanted to live somewhere other than New York, and, to paraphrase Buffy, "rain bad, beach pretty." But I did have some Industry inspirations: I imagined that being out here would enable me to get to know the Hollywood world a little better. I've been reading Entertainment Weekly and cruising entertainment sites, and commenting here and in other places about pop culture for years. But here, I could talk to the people out here who make it all happen, maybe visit a few sets and befriend some writers who were on different levels, from struggling (I've found a bunch of those) to successful (I've encountered a few of those, too, but they're harder to find in the Pico-Robertson Jewy Jewworld). Then I'd figure out what to do about the now geographical juxtaposition between my writing and that industry that's known both for slaughtering the souls of innocents and entertaining the hearts of millions. 

So that's what I've done this year. I've talked with writers for sitcoms past and present, forged a slightly strange relationship with one of the co-creators of "Arrested Development," and tried to learn content, political and creative lessons from showrunners for "Weeds" and "United States of Tara." I even managed to get to one degree of separation from Joss Whedon (all hail, He Who Conquers Television and Internet) on several occasions. I'm learning. 

Digital Hollywood: Publicists, Writers, Content Developers Talk Blogs, Celebs and More

For a woman like me, this Digital Hollywood conference is like a crash course in some things I know and some things I don't know, all at the same time. Obviously, being at a professional conference specifically geared for the entertainment industry in the town I moved to a year ago is a new experience for me: I don't know who the players are; how a TV writer hones her craft and makes connections; how a celebrity gets his or her press; or how Hollywood views the internet. 

And yet, I do.

Sure, there are some processes and politics that are specific to the industry of Hollywood and celebrity gossip. But publicity, whether it's for Spencer and Heidi (whatever) or for a name change at an umbrella organization of Jewish federations (see here), is about two things for a publicist: crafting the message and getting that message out. What the message is is situation-specific; and the modes used for distributing that message should be as well. One could point out a vital third component with two parts: relationship - both the relationship between the publicist and his/her client, and the relationship between the publicist/client entity and members of the press. 

Several ideas and experiences seemed familiar or intuitive to me, but were hailed as innovative by the audience, which consisted of an eclectic group of underemployed, self-employed, publicists, writers, editors, actors, producers, content developers, web designers, techie coder geeks, advertising representatives, lawyers, event planners and professional schmoozers. With a group that large and diverse, programming had to be similarly diverse in terms of appeal and approach, and in many cases it was. But it's hard to speak to a group with so many degrees of online literacy

For instance, if you didn't realize that making it in Hollywood was hard, well, you would after attending the conference - at one point I imagined Debbie Allen in the corner, leaning on a dance stick, giving her monologue ("You got big dreams? You want fame? Well fame costs...and right here's where you start paying -- in sweat." FAME!). Also, did you know that "Glee" was popular in part due to its premiere over the summer and then the anticipatory build until the season began in September? Or, that "The Office" didn't have that strong a following at first, but then built because of the online audience? Or that "Dr. Horrible" was financed personally by Joss Whedon? Or that the "Mad Men" characters have been Tweeting, but that they're not supported by AMC - they're a fan initiative? I've never been to a tech conference before, but I, in fact, did know all these things. But the oohs and aahs of the audience proved that not everyone reads Entertainment Weekly like I do.

There also seemed to be unrelenting criticism of bloggers as panelists and attendees seemed to alternately thank the bloggers for mobilizing fans online and condemn them for their unpredictability, and for not following traditional journalism's rules. This constant reference to all bloggers as unprofessional (which is not the same thing as calling them "not journalists") highlighted the fact that people don't get it: blogging is a tool, and all kinds of people use that tool to do all kinds of writing. (This disconnect is something those of us in Jewish journalism/commentary have seen before, if you remember "Jewish Bloggers Are Not the Enemies of Jewish Storytelling.")

Some bloggers write journalistically, others juvenilely.  And there's a continuum, of course. Many of us do employ a different tone than traditional journalism, and write in this tone because the medium's democracy and immediacy lends itself to the personal lens that most bloggers take to the subjects about which they're most passionate. But for the most part, I heard people blame bloggers more than thank them: for leaking stories, for lying, for being a source of negative press, for being uncontrollable, for being unprofessional, for ushering traditional journalism toward its deathbed...I was waiting to hear how bloggers were responsible for higher taxes, Michael Jackson's death, and 9/11, but I guess I missed that session. 

Digital Hollywood Content Summit: Initial Observations

So, in case I haven't mentioned it, I'm at Digital Hollywood's Content Summit this week in Santa Monica. This is exciting a) because I love learning about how technology has impacted the entertainment sphere and b) because this is the first conference in a while that doesn't feature the term "good for the Jews" anywhere in the program.

Here are some initial "shorts," just perfect for you short-attention-spanners for whom a 5-minute YouTube video seems too long:

• Jewish conference: "What? Food again?" / Hollywood conference: "Where's the bar?" (There was no food anywhere that I saw during this conference. Tomorrow, I bring sandwiches. And sell them.)
• One thing that Jewish conferences and Hollywood conferences seem to agree on? Sarah Lefton and G-dcast are awesome. Sarah pitched G-dcast to a panel of Hollywood tastemakers and content producers...and they liked it.
• There was some debate over whether, when it comes to viral video, it's better to be first than be best. Thoughts?
• Saw Justine Bateman within ten minutes of my arrival. She was already surrounded, so I chickened out of talking to her. 
• Several people predicted that online space would totally take over the entertainment world in the next five years. Others thought it already was taking over the entertainment industry, but that the money models aren't really set yet - we have to figure out when doing our projects what people are willing to pay for in order to monetize the product. I know my money models aren't set yet. :)
• In "We Live in Public," the film's subject - Josh Harris - made a ton of money in the dot com boom, and engaged in experiments regarding living in public, having every moment of their lives taped. He's alternately hailed as a visionary, an artist, and a genius (often all by himself), but the truth is that he's accurately foreseen the trends that today's internet users embrace: self-exposure, the need for community approval, connection to people without really connecting to them.
• Harris admitted after the screening that he had never experienced real "intimate love," despite the fact that one of his experiments was him and his girlfriend - or as he referred to her, his "fake girlfriend" - living together and being taped in every moment. And the moment when it all clicked that intimate love had evaded him? When he watched "The Truman Show," and saw Truman's wife in their wedding picture, with her fingers crossed behind her back. 

There's much more to say on this film and the issues it brought up, but that'll have to be tomorrow. Writer's Boot Camp starts early in the am...

Good night, Hollywood. 

L.A.nniversary: Could I Find a New Home in Digital Hollywood?

One of the reasons I moved here - yes, I'll admit it now, although I might not have last October - is that Hollywood - TV & film and the people who create meaningful or comedic content - interests me. At this particular moment in the life of Hollywood, there are more scripts than there can be network shows or big Hollywood productions. As it is doing in nearly every other field, the internet is throwing the industry for a loop. An excess of creative content, a recession, a lack of non-reality network opportunities, plus the limitless space of the internet combine for a perfect storm of innovation when it comes to content presentation. 

FunnyorDie, CollegeHumor, TheOnion, CurrentTV - all have proven popular and have created (or maintained) high production quality standards for online content. This realm - where pop culture entertainment meets digital life - seems to have been custom created for a girl like me.

I stumbled across Digital Hollywood: The Conference (colon and subhead added for dramatic effect) through a series of "just happened to"s: I just happened to go to the Mediabistro networking event, and just happened to strike up a conversation with Lana Rushing, and we just happened to be talking a week later on an unrelated issue when she mentioned Digital Hollywood. The more I looked at the list of sessions, the more excited I became about the topic. Then I saw the words "Hollywood Content Summit," followed by magical phrases like "pitch camp," "writing boot camp," "comedy master classes," etc  - within an hour I was signed up.

Don't Automatically Believe It Just Because It's On Twitter

Yes, that's right, people...just because the news of Michael Jackson's and Farrah Fawcett's deaths broke on Twitter doesn't mean that you can believe every celebrity death mentioned on the micro-blogging service. For instance, singer Rick Astley and actors Natalie Portman and George Clooney were also "reported" to have died in the last week, and are still very much alive in spite of those reports. Look, people, social media is important, and I do enjoy some nice Twittering in the morning (afternoon, evening and late night), but just because Twitter reports it doesn't make it true.

Or does it? "The Colbert Report" delves into these and other issues, in mourning the "death" of Jeff Goldblum.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Jeff Goldblum Will Be Missed
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Jeff Goldblum

Lindsay Lohan Considering Judaism?

The Daily Mail brings us the latest news about Lindsay Lohan, who is rumored to be considering conversion to Judaism. In case you've been living under a rock, the reason for Lindsay's religious shift is not a driving desire to celebrate the upcoming holiday of Purim but because Lindsay's girlfriend Samantha Ronson is Jewish.

The occasion for the latest frenzy over Lohan's religious affiliation was that she attended Ronson's half-brother's bar mitzvah at a Westminster synagogue:

Showing her seriousness about converting, Lindsay had also visited the synagogue the day before with Samantha and her designer sister Charlotte. Entering the synagogue, a photographer asked Lindsay if she was switching religions, to which she replied: 'I'm trying.' Updating her Facebook status this week, Lindsay wrote 'I'm converting'.

Many commenters on a similar story on Haaretz doubt Lohan's commitment to the religion, and Lindsay's own dad thinks it's another phase of religious exploration, noting that she's already plowed through Kabbalah and Scientology. "But either way, she's involving God in her life, and I'm happy about that," he said.

Besides, we all know that Facebook status updates need to be taken seriously. If I ever convert to another religion, I promise to let you all know about it via Facebook.