MY URBAN KVETCH

#JFNAGABingo is Back!

Back by (no one's) popular demand, it's JFNAGABingo, the unofficial and unsanctioned Jewish Geography-Meets-Scavenger Hunt way to meet new people at the Jewish Federations of North America's annual General Assembly (#JFNAGA) conference. If you're playing in-person in Washington, DC, don't forget to tag your bingo achievements with #JFNAGABingo and #JFNAGA so we can follow along with your conference bingo prowess! Enjoy! 

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Frequently Asked Questions: Part 1

I've been blogging for over a decade now, and several times a week, people (some of whom I know and others of whom I don't) reach out to me with questions and requests for help. Many of them are about the Jewish internet, or about Jewish organizational life, or culture, or writing. (A lot of them start with "I wanted to pick your brain," which is, of course, code for "I want your expertise for free."

 

It occurred to me that it might be helpful (and/or funny) to explore (and embellish on) some of those questions in a series of FAQs for this blog.

 

(Questions have been amalgamated for cohesiveness and comedic effect.)

 

Q: Hi, love your blog, lol. Check out this viral video, a hilarious parody of a song that was wildly popular three to five years ago - I refer to Manischewitz wine AND gefilte fish in the lyrics!! Post this everywhere so that your readers can LOL and we can make it go viral.

 

A: Oh, dear reader....where do I start?

1. FAQs are not Frequently Asked Commands to Circulate Sub-Par Content to My Network (FACtCSPC). 
2. Your video is not a viral video. When clients say, "let's create a viral video," social media consultants have to calmly explain that you can't create a viral video - you create a video and try to include elements that are likely to go viral...but it's not a guarantee. If it doesn't capture something in the zeitgeist, it's not going anywhere near viral. And don't even get me started on the fact that "Jewish viral" is like 10,000 hits and you've got 25 hits so far. So, um, good luck with that.
3. As for the content, my policy is to auto-ignore any videos referring to either Manischewitz or gefilte fish. (Nothing against these fine cliched edibles on their own - I'm distantly and by-marriage related to the Manischewitzes and gefilte fish is enjoying a rebirth thanks to my friends at the Gefilteria.) Together, they form a one-two punch of things that are both not the essence of Jewish culture, and are not inherently funny. (What, were bagels-and-lox unavailable the day of the shoot?) My free advice? Skip these tired references in favor of actual cleverness. You're welcome. 

Q: Can you explain to me what Jewish innovation is?

A: No. I can't. Nobody can. Don't get me wrong, people will try. (I might even try.) But other people will try to convince you that nothing is Jewish innovation and others will try to convince you that everything is Jewish innovation. And then your friends in the regular secular innovation world who are inventing Google Crystal Ball to tell the future, or developing new technologies to cure cancer by developing a delivery system for a superflu that targets only dangerous cells and leaves the healthy ones alone will laugh at you. So use the word innovative or creative, but leave innovation alone. 

 

Q: My favorite internet activity is taking a hardline position on something outside of my area of expertise, and then beating my unverified point into the ground until everyone wants to ban me from commenting. I don't have a question, I just wanted to hear myself speak.

A: Thanks for the warning. I think I recognize you from every post ever published about politics or the situation in Israel. I'm sure I'll see you around.

 

 

 

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