Leave it to the old Woodman to provide the premiere (and possibly only) tale of crustacean comedy revenge against Bernie Madoff in the recent Shouts & Murmurs column in the New Yorker: the tale centers on Abe Moscowitz, who "dropped dead of a heart attack and was reincarnated as a lobster. Trapped off the coast of Maine, he was shipped to Manhattan and dumped into a tank at a posh Upper East Side seafood restaurant." Read on for an excerpt from this glorious excursion into reincarnation, betrayal, and shellfish...
At that moment, who walked into the restaurant and sits down at a nearby table but Bernie Madoff. If Moscowitz had been bitter and agitated before, now he gasped as his tail started churning the water like an Evinrude.
“I don’t believe this,” he said, pressing his little black peepers to the glass walls. “That goniff who should be doing time, chopping rocks, making license plates, somehow slipped out of his apartment confinement and he’s treating himself to a shore dinner.”
“Clock the ice on his immortal beloved,” Moe observed, scanning Mrs. M.’s rings and bracelets.
Moscowitz fought back his acid reflux, a condition that had followed him from his former life. “He’s the reason I’m here,” he said, riled to a fever pitch.
Hat tip: The Fundermentalist
Thanks for sharing. I remembered this story when I was in college. My classmate told me about this.
Posted by: Money Glow | May 06, 2010 at 08:17 AM