MY URBAN KVETCH

Vonage? Skype? Help a Sister Out

Hi all...quick poll...have any of you switched to Vonage? What about Skype? Any comments for or against? I'm paying over $70 a month for my landline service, and I'd really like to stop. Are there downsides? How much will I really end up paying? And what about international calls? What's the best/cheapest way to make those?

Thanks in advance for the feedback, guys.

Lotion, Liquids and Gels Sealed in the Book of Life

You'll all be glad to know about this Rosh Hashanah miracle: lotions and gels are now permitted on most flights, says the Transportation Security Administration.

But hold on, would-be lotionterrorists...this isn't free reign for you. There are limits: containers have to be 3 ounces or less, plastic bags have to be one quart or less and that the bags have to have a zip top that's closed. This is great news, because now you can have your three thirst-quenching ounces of water with you on the plane to sip at your leisure.

I know what you're thinking...only three ounces of hair gel for an airplane flight? If that's not sufficient, please check your Greased Lightning into the airport garage and seek help immediately, Kenickie.

Yes, I'm That Jewy...

Look, I don't want to say that my mere presence has vast and palpable impact on late-night television comedy or anything...but how else to explain that a mere 24 hours after I shook Stephen Colbert's hand and sat at his desk for a photo op, the Colbert Report staff had come up with an opening act for the show that included a lengthy explanation of Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and the ten days of repentance that come between them, as well as a repentance hotline with accurately rendered Hebrew letters?

The logical solution? That it's entirely possible that some of Colbert's writers may be Jewish. But obviously, there's another possibility...that I Jewed it up with my Jewy, Jewlicious, Jewlarious, Jewbiquitous presence. I think Mel Gibson--and three out of four anti-Semites--would agree.

And now, I offer you the same one as last year...my FOX-5 appearance from two (or was it three? who remembers?) years ago, explaining some of the finer points of the Rosh Hashanah holiday.

Plus, your scrolling bonus, this video that talks to people on the streets of NYC to find out what their New Year's wishes and resolutions are. What are your wishes and resolutions?

Shanah tovah to everyone!

Flawed Facebook Fornication Foucault's Fault

Blogger's being annoying, so you get the benefit of this story that would ordinarily go up at JDaters Anonymous...enjoy!

University-based social networking tool Facebook is all the rage these days for the college and recently-graduated set. And sometimes social networking gets extremely socially intimate. For instance, take this story of girl sees boy's Facebook profile and is intrigued, sends him a "poke," he pokes back out of courtesy, and they set up a date. Three Stella Artoises later, they move from the common room into the girl's bedroom to "see some of my books," she says:

But when the conversation turned to late cultural theorist Michel Foucault's interpretation of religion under late capitalism, Gold and Larson found themselves at an awkward impasse. "I was shocked when he said he believed in 'a greater spirit,'" Larson told The Herald yesterday. "I mean, how was I supposed to respond to that?" Unsure of how to move beyond the topic of God and religion, copulation of the most "awkward, perfunctory variety" ensued, according to Larson.

Well, who hasn't been there...when philosophy fails, there's always fornication. Of course, there's the awkwardness of him sneaking out the next morning, and her sending him a note asking him to be in an "It's Complicated" relationship with her, which he thinks is too much of a commitment. Why be tied down, man? Especially to someone who doesn't believe in "a greater spirit"? I mean, how would they ever raise the kids?

On an ending note, I do need to state that I believe this is a joke from the good people at Brown. The date on the story is April 3, which is close enough to April 1st to give one pause, and if you need any further convincing, check the woman's thesis title. Still, entertainingly written and conceived, and not altogether impossible in today's sexually casual but intellectually complicated world.

"Genius Grant, Please..."

If you don't know what I mean, watch the Colbert Report tonight. Funny show, including clips of Stephen wielding his lightsaber (no, not a euphemism) and one James Carville, who sounded like he was hopped up on goofballs.

And now, your moment of Zen.

"Where's Ahmadinejad?"

In an attempt to kick off his new series of children's books which feature him hiding around New York landmarks wearing a red striped sweater (see artist's rendering, at left), Mahmoud Ahmadinejad arrived in New York today. At press time, he is undoubtedly mid-pedicure, to prepare for what he considers "the running of the Jews," as thousands of hip, happenin' Hebrews converge at noon at our regular kvetchspot in Dag Hammerskjold Plaza opposite the UN.

Inspired by Alarming News' musing about whether Mahmoud will leave his hotel and sample the restaurants and nightlife that make this city great, we at My Urban Kvetch wonder..."If you were Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and had a few days to kill spend in the land of the Zionist sympathizer infidels, what would YOU do?"

Submit your suggestions here...and if you see the big MaAhm, as he's known, please alert Gawker Stalker immediately. I hear they get extra Denton Dollars for Muslim celebrities during wartime.

Worth noting...tonight, Stephen Colbert invited Ahmadinejad to attend tomorrow's taping of his show. You know who else is supposed to attend a taping of the Colbert Report tomorrow? Let's just say she just typed the last letter in this post and is now hitting "publish."

Arrrrrrr!

Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day, Mateys! (If thanks there be for this picture, they should be addresed to CK at Jewlicious, c/o Davy Jones's Locker.)

Rosh Hashanah Viral Vid Battle: You Pick the Winner

Aish's Rosh Hashana Rap featuring Ori Murray vs. taglit's Hebrew Crunk

Happy Crunk New Year

...via Taglit-Israel.

Dear Jack Bauer, Your Dad's a Nerd

Dear Jack Bauer, protagonist of the hit show 24:

While you might have harbored the delusion that you are the progeny of actor Donald Sutherland, here's news for you, Kiefer: your real dad (and by real dad, I mean "fake dad on the show") is James ("Jamie") Cromwell, Sure, people know him from "Six Feet Under" and "L.A. Confidential," but if you go back further, before Dr. Greene's brain tumor on ER, you'll find a little movie called "Revenge of the Nerds," in which Cromwell played Mr. Skolnick, fathernerd to the central nerd character Robert Carradine.

This means he's probably really good at computers and could help Chloe in case her character gets, um, permanently downsized. Just thought you should know.

Tell Dr. Romano we say hi.

Love,
CTU