Residents of Rosh Pina, beware...Madonna's lookin' to buy in your backyard. Why Rosh Pina? Because that's where the Messiah's due to show up, according to Kabbalah:
Kabbalists believe that the Messiah will appear at Safed and walk to Tiberias on the shores of the Sea of Galilee, travelling along the ravine that cuts through Rosh Pina.
So basically, she's looking to purchase a place on the parade route. But she doesn't need a real estate agent; Madge is having her people do some cold calling...including a woman named Mrs. Havkin:
Some days later when a television company asked if she could confirm a rumour about Madonna’s interest, Mrs Havkin questioned her neighbours. She found that they, too, had been approached. The house is worth a little more than $500,000 (£294,000), but I would sell it to Madonna for a million dollars and buy another property for me and my family in the area,” she said.
Only a million? A bargain price for a front-row seat for greeting the Messiah. Me, I could have charged top dollar for my studio if proximity to Riverside Park had been Madge's Material concern...
Personally, I like to imagine Madonna actually buying this house, and the Messiah marching down the wadi on his way from Safed to Jerusalem...and finding Madonna sitting there on her front porch in a yoga pose, somehow simultaneously managing to chow on a freshly microwaved bag of popcorn.
Madge: Hey Messiah...
Messiah: Madonna.
Madge: Yo, Chosen One, why you gotta be like that? It's me, Esther.
Messiah: I came here to redeem the Jews. But you're Roman Catholic.
Madge: Well, I guess you don't get the internet in heaven, then, because I've been a Kabbalist for the last few years. Look...[points to wrist] I have my membership bracelet and everything.
Messiah: [rolls eyes up to heaven] God, you weren't kidding. These celebrities are whack jobs.
VERY good beginning. Where can we go with this?
1. Madonna tries to chas v'shalom seduce the big M. How does he react?
2. Madonna sings for M. He throws up, changes his mind and goes back upstairs?
3. What else?
Posted by: | March 04, 2006 at 05:25 PM
What a nice concept to think that the rich have access to the Messiah and to heaven etc. ---- NOT - they actually have about 10,000% more distractions than the rest of us to overcome in order to rise to a higher level of being ...
Messiah is from the word 'Meshicha' in Hebrew which means pull - the Messiah is simply a state that we can pull toward us - through our own efforts - it's not something we can sit around munching popcorn to wait for. That ideal state is inside each and every one of us waiting to be discovered. Anyone studying authentic Kabbalah would know that after about a week ...
I just posted something about how we like to cling to people and places that we think will ensure us a better future - but it's all inside of us. Madonna can buy up all of Rosh Pina and Zefat (where my family actually owns a house by the way!! ha ha) but I doubt she'll actually catch the Messiah hanging out there ...
Having said that - despite the focus on money and material stuff as per usual it's great that she gets the world thinking about all this stuff ...
J.
Posted by: Josia | March 05, 2006 at 03:17 AM
Messiah is actually from the Hebrew word "moshiach", meaning "the annointed one. I believe "christos" or something in Greek means annointed with oil. The Torah writes about "shemen MEESHCHAT kodesh", "the holy annointing oil". Aaron Moshe's brother, King David and King and Saul were all moshiachs, having been annointed by the prophets Moses and Samuel. Aren't you glad you asked? The idea of being "pulled" towards the Messiah it a nice thought though. Simcha
Posted by: | March 06, 2006 at 08:12 AM
Everytime I read something like this, I keep thinking "Well, she is trying to become more spiritual (even if she's ignorant about it), she's trying to become more aware, etc. etc. etc." Then I start thinking "She's lost it! She's cracked! I WANT MADONNA BACK! I want The Material Girl, not the Special K Girl!"
Oh, boy.
Then again, had it not been for all of this, I wouldn't have been inspired to launch my spoof (which is, of course, legal and non-harmful, unlike some others.)
Posted by: Madonna | March 06, 2006 at 09:24 AM
Simcha I was taught the same thing that in the Hebrew of the word "Messiah" translates to "annointed one", so I'm not sure where Josia is getting their info on this. "Christ" does derive from the equivilent Greek word, you are correct there also.
I dont know about this Madonna, seems to have some peculiar ideas. But no offense to anyone's race, creed or national origin but when one goes into the realm of invisible people here or to come, how can one claim be said to be any stranger than another?
Posted by: Some Loser | March 07, 2006 at 04:23 AM
Esther is always a curiosity to me and I keep up with everything she is doing.
I think she should drop the Esther and go ahead and call herself Haddasah.
Maybe she should stop spreading her legs so much
and wearing all the stripper clothing , but who can tell that woman anything .. huh ?
I think its great that her spiritual interests have turned from that historical mess called Christianity and turned more toward the truth of the Tanak.
Can anyone declare themselves the Messiah ?
Shouldn't your works show without a doubt that you are truly the Messiah ?
Posted by: Eretz Sus Lavan | March 07, 2006 at 05:30 PM
You know, someone replied to a recent post on my blog (the one about the person who got themselves arrested for identity theft) with a rant about Esther Madonna and Semtex. They wondered if "Mad Madge" had finally lost her mind. I laughed my butt off at that one. Seriously. Mad Madge didn't just lose her mind - she lost it DECADES ago. She's always been someone crazy, now she's totally lost it...
But Madonna and sane belong in the same sentence the way Eminem and mature belong in the same sentence...
Posted by: Madonna | March 07, 2006 at 07:04 PM
Ersatz er Eretz I think there were (are?) rules that the Messiah must come from certain ancient Jewish blood lines. Sort of a "house of" deal. Some Protestant guy who was a big Bible reader told me this, I cant say I know the veracity of this claim myself though.
Posted by: Some Loser | March 08, 2006 at 11:58 AM
Yeah, the house of David.
Posted by: Dave Munger | May 05, 2006 at 02:46 PM
Ersatz er Eretz I think there were (are?) rules that the Messiah must come from certain ancient Jewish blood lines. Sort of a "house of" deal. Some Protestant guy who was a big Bible reader told me this, I cant say I know the veracity of this claim myself though.
Posted by: dragonball gold | June 15, 2010 at 06:32 AM