MY URBAN KVETCH

Do I Get the Prize?

So, do I get the prize for the first one to post a Chanukah-themed animated song parody?

I'm not going to tell you what it's called, because it's slightly funnier to not know in advance so you don't start singing it to yourself before the darned thing loads...

So here you go. Happy early Chanukah, kids...

The Snarky, Spoiler-Ridden Recap of Lost

Curtain up on another lovely day in Hawaii/hell. A shiny happy Korean couple is aglisten with newlywedesque reunited bliss. Hurley has clearly been up all night, but is happy that the pair has gotten down by the fire. But wait, don't be happy. Shannon is dead, and that makes for an angry gravedigging Iraqi, which is everyone's favorite kind.

Hey, what'd Kate do? Who's that? A lighter? Nooooo...

The funeral: Sayeed's upset. "I didn't know Shannon. We never would have met. But I loved her. And we did it the night she died. And it was awesome." Everyone throws dirt into the grave.

Hi mom. Killed your husband. Gotta go. "Kate, what did you do?"

Josh Holloway gets to rest again. Kate's smushing up food for him. Suddenly, he stirs! He chokes her! "Why did you kill me?"

Next thing we know: Jack is full-body-hoisting Sawyer from the floor onto the bed. (Yes, it was as hot as it sounds.) Where's Kate? We don't know...she's gone.

But wait, there's more....

Have Yourself a Very Jewcy Chanukah...

Jewcy (www.jewcy.com), the hot-as-latkes collective leading a new wave of Jewish culture and pride, is sponsoring a December 11th concert featuring selections from Broadway, by comedians and in other areas of performance...the concert will benefit Natan (www.natan.org), a philanthropic network of young Jews seeking to help transform the Jewish future by funding innovative solutions to address crucial questions of Jewish life.

Jewschool and Jewlicious already posted announcements on their blogs about this event, so it looks like there will be a more than healthy Jewish blogger presence there. I'm going, and Jewlicious's Muffti is planning on an appearance as well.

Jewlicious is having a ticket giveaway. As CK posted yesterday: "either send us your best original Hanukkah Haiku or limmerick or just send me a really good reason why you should win and you and a friend can go to this party FOR FREE!" The details are here.

What? You want to know who's going to be there? OK...DJ'ing at the event will be former Jane's Addiction singer Perry Farrell, and performers include Triumph the Insult Comic Dog (Robert Smigel); Saturday Night Live star Rachel Dratch; Hip hop provocateur Princess Superstar; Celebrated female rappers Northern State; The Cast of The 25^th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee; The Daily Show’s Eric Drysdale; Actress/comedian Jackie Hoffman; Comic genius Judy Gold; Funnyman Todd Barry; Comedian Rebecca Drysdale; and many more of today’s most celebrated Jewish artists (to be announced).

Sunday, December 11, 2005, 8PM

Crobar, 530 W. 28^th St. (10^th-11^th Aves.), New York City Tickets available via www.smarttix.com or 212.868.4444. Tickets range from $25 for general admission to $5,000 for VIP tables.

Anniversaries

Over the past two months, I've forgotten to mark two important anniversaries in my life. Both of them have had monumental impact on my life, so much so that although they slipped my active mind as far as blogging is concerned, they stayed lodged in that "to do" folder in my head, in the hope that I'd get back to them eventually. And here I am.

Three years ago, on a temperate day in the beginning of October, I lost a job. It was a demeaning, dejecting, depressing experience. I was convinced it was the end of my professional career, of all the strides I had made, that I would be destroyed. But three years later, I have the flexibility of freelance, the security of a few regular clients. I write for variety, I write for personal exploration, and to maintain my sanity. I'm living as a writer in Manhattan, writing about things I'm passionate about. It's a dream for so many people, but here I am, the inadvertent freelancer. I may not be making a fortune. In fact, I will tell you I am far from making a fortune. But my career is far from destroyed. Immersing myself in bloggity goodness in order to create my own writing opportunities, I inadvertently created my own PR machine that keeps my name out there. I have overcome professional adversity. I'm doing okay.

More recently, last November, in fact, a meeting took place that changed my life. Brokered by the good doctor, it involved my meeting with a group of bloggers who, I was told, were in from Israel and wanted to meet "Esther the Urban Kvetch." I didn't know much about them at that point; I was nervous. It was like being on a blind date with four people at once. We met at an Upper West Side eatery, ate some Moroccan food, played foosball with some Mexicans, drank arak and beer, and the rest, as they say, is history.

I feel strongly about acknowledging anniversaries of moments of import in your life; in those moments, we're not always aware that change is occurring, that those decisions will have any kind of lasting impact. But with the benefit of hindsight, these liminal moments emerge as highlights of the times that have since passed--acknowledgment of their value lends inspiration to the daily grind, to the endless contacts with strangers that blogging and the internet provides. Here, quite literally, is a world of my own making, away from the watchful eyes of those who were never protective of my own interests, never encouraging of my professional direction. Here is where I am, where I can wish myself a happy anniversary without seeming endlessly self-indulgent, and where I can thank those who have made the topography of my life a little rockier, but a more textured, and overall, a more interesting place.

Bye Bye Bristow...

Now, I'm not the type to say "I told ya so," but, er...so is how I had previously told it. Alias lost Vartan and Grunberg, Garner's prego with Affleck spawn, and now the show's been cancelled. Poor Victor Garber...a good gig comes to an end.

The potentially good news? Remember, Grunberg's got a new J.J. Abrams show coming up. And of course, let's not forget the fact that J.J. likes to use the same actors over and over. At least five actors migrated over from Felicity to Alias. And J.J. also created a little phenomenon about an island called Lost, which featured Grunberg in a hat trick appearance as a doomed pilot. The fact that the members of the Alias Gang are now out of work could see some of them them sliding down a chute between one J.J. franchise and another. Here's hoping.

See also, EW's PopWatch, which asks for your favorite Alias moments.

Totally Trayf News

In the AP, via CNN.com:

MACDONALD CHARGED IN WENDY'S HEIST

MANCHESTER, New Hampshire (AP) --

Two workers at a Wendy's in Manchester, New Hampshire, have been charged with taking money from the safe. One of the suspects is Ronald MacDonald. Police say the restaurant's manager called them early Monday morning and said he saw MacDonald and the other man taking cash out of the restaurant's safe.He works at a Wendy's, and his name is Ronald MacDonald -- but now he may be known as the Hamburglar.

Extended Urban Kvetch edition of this story (my additions in red):

He works at a Wendy's, and his name is Ronald MacDonald -- but now he may be known as the Hamburglar. Two workers at a Wendy's in Manchester, New Hampshire, have been charged with taking money from the safe. One of the suspects is Ronald MacDonald, who was immediately identifiable by his shock of red clown hair and yellow and white outfit. The other suspect, who gave his name only as "Arby," was apprehended when he tried to abscond with the special patented meat press that creates Wendy's quadrilateral burgers.

Police say the restaurant's manager called them early Monday morning and said he saw MacDonald and the other man taking cash out of the restaurant's safe. As the NHPD took the suspects away, MacDonald set his face in a purple Grimace, while Arby began to cry. The money, he said, was going towards the purchase of his dream home, a white castle.

Across town, a burgerlary at a local Burger King masterminded by a local woman named Wendy Baskin-Robbins, was thwarted by the town mayor, Roy Rogers McCheese.  The Fry Guy could not be reached for comment.

And for those of you who are interested, I have only once ever even been inside a McDonalds and have never eaten their food. All of this knowledge comes from pop culture, tv commercials, etc.

"The Boys of Baraka"

My friend Jeremy was involved with the making of this film, The Boys of Baraka, which opens this week in NYC and next week in Boston. I understand it even has a shot at a Best Documentary Oscar nomination, so give it a shot, and if you like it, let me know and I'll pass along your words...

Synopsis and theaters where the movie is playing:

The Film Forum
November 30th, 2005 - December 14th 2005
http://www.filmforum.org

The Coolidge Corner Theatre
December 2nd, 2005 - December 15th 2005
290 Harvard St. Brookline, MA
http://www.coolidge.org

Synopsis: Some surprising revelations about why at-risk children fail to flourish academically come to light when twenty 12-year-olds from Baltimore are sent to an experimental boarding school in rural Kenya. After establishing that drugs, violence, and single-parent homes are the common denominator these kids have grown up with, the filmmakers observe the boys’ reactions to an alien environment where academics, the African plain, lizards, and homework take center stage. It’s a story told with humor and compassion that puts a human face on the toll poverty takes on America’s disenfranchised children.

Official website here.

Jewblog Blitz

OK, so two items isn't really a blitz. More like a blitzette.

But if you're a regular reader of Jewsweek, you noticed the article titled "The Jewish Corner of the Blogosphere," which talks to and about My Urban Kvetch, Jewlicious, and many BFOEs (BlogFriends of Esther), like Lisa, Ari, Israellycool, Harry, and Jewschool, among others. Very honored to have been included.

And I also got a nice note from a new Jew on the blog: JeruGuru, a twentysomething guy living the single life in Jerusalem who takes pop culture moments like the demises of Nick and Jessica and Brad and Jen as an opportunity to learn important life lessons. For this alone, you know I'll be RSS'ing him.

Enjoy the linkages, people.

"The Truth About Online Dating"

The Truth About Online Dating
The NY Jewish Week, 11/24/05

Back in the day, dating online was something no one talked about. Relying on the computer to generate a list of potential dates seemed to indicate a certain desperation, social ineptitude or level of geekdom, and the social stigma was overwhelming.

We also had a respectful fear of the Internet; we established emergency check-in procedures, in case the nice quiet Jewish boy without a context turned out to be one of those people who would later be described by neighbors on the local news, as a “quiet, private person who kept to himself — we never imagined he was a cannibal.”

Then, slowly, the grudging, sub-audible admissions began. “Well, for the last X [amount of time], I’ve kinda … been … on JDate.” You confessed it softly, in case the music suddenly stopped, yielding to your voice trumpeting truth against a pristinely silent background. Since then, online dating is assumed. We peruse disembodied profiles, no longer fearful of our potential dismemberment, although there is always the possibility of dis-rememberment (“Did I say I’d call her? Which Rachel is that?”)

We understand the reality — if you’re really looking, you have to be in many places at once. Attending singles events is a good start, but how many can one person attend in a given week? Online, you can ogle and reject (or even initiate contact with) many eligible singles from the comfort of your own home. Plus, the experience itself becomes an unintentional bonding point: “That guy contacted you, too? I can’t believe he wrote us the same letter.” (Want more proof? Google “I hate JDate” for about 42,600 results.)

Want more? Read the rest of the article here.

I Heart Giles

Finally, something to be truly thankful about...I'm so happy I could open a Magic Shop or a library. Giles is finally getting his movie!! Or DVDs...

“It’s gone from, being a series to a two-hour movie that might be part of a series of DVDs that we were talking about doing for the different characters from the shows. It’s got a lovely story, and I hope he does something wonderful with him”, Head told Buffy Magazine, reports TV Squad and Whedonesque.

There’s also DVD spin-off’s in the works with the characters of Spike (James Marsters) and Illyria (Amy Acker). The Giles film, set in England, has been on and off for a number of years now.

Not so into the Illyria movie, but let's face it, I'll probably see it anyway. Think Joss would create a musical scene for the Giles movie? Would love it...Now all we need is a confirmation from Joss and a production schedule.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to see an episode of Gilmore Girls written by Jane Espenson (late of Buffy and Angel)...