Just Because I Don't Watch the Bachelorette...

...doesn't mean I can't have an opinion on the fact that Re-Bachelorette Jen chose herself. And my opinion is: good for her.

This, IMHO, is what should have happened in the final ep of SATC. That season finale wasn't about Big vs. Petrovsky. It was about Paris vs. New York; being a foreigner vs. recommitting to a life you love. Not exactly the same for Bachelorette Jen, but I think that it's to her credit that she decided that none of the gents selected by ABC were right for her. There are those who are very critical of Jen's decision, but I think this constitutes a step up for reality television.

The reality is, even surrounded by beautiful people who may also be of a very high caliber personalitalistically (we needed a new word), sometimes, the chemistry isn't right for a long-term relationship. That Jen didn't let the pressure of ABC, of being on TV and dating before an audience of millions, sway her into making a wrong decision, I say is an assertion that a pure heart cannot be seduced by the luxurious, but ultimately constructed, framework of reality television. The heart wants what it wants.

Of course, people who actually did watch this show may have a different opinion. And they are welcome to share it here.

Comments

[anna]

i agree with the "way to go Jen" attitude. right on girlfriend.

[Susan]

I'll admit it. I watched the show. Not the whole three hours. A little less than half that, and I also say "good for Jen." My other reaction was "this is perhaps the only sane reaction to the insanity of reality television." Randomly pick 25 men for a woman and one of them might end up being the One for her, but chances are just as good that none of them will be Mr. Right. I am sure it was awful for her to go on live national television and say what she needed to say, but it was the only truly honest thing to do, and it sure beats the other Bachelor and Bachelorette folks who go through the motions of being engaged just long enough to escape public embarassment at being fooled into thinking they were in love by the most artificial of circumstances. And, it is wonderful to see a woman who doesn't feel like a failure just because she doesn't have a man on her arm.

[Passionate Life]

As a faithful fan of the Bachelor/Bachelorette I was very disappointed with Jen. Not because she did not choose from the final two guys but rather because she allowed competing factors to cause her to lose sight of a genuine gem.

She was very drawn to John Paul’s stability (He owns his own house and business at 25.) and willingness to devote himself to her. She was completely smitten or rather my other favorite word for love intoxication, infatuated with Jerry. Jerry, is the hunky life of the party that is cool and suave and makes the girls turn to jelly. However his communication skills on a deeper level does not fulfill Jen’s needs for communication.

Because of her desire for material things and her infatuation with someone inappropriate for her in a long term relationship she missed her true love, Ryan. Ryan was the third to last guy who did not get a rose. He was very handsome, a great communicator, and an all around great guy. Because when Jen met Ryan’s parents, who are a bit elderly and did not interact with her on a level that she was accustomed to (They spoke all night about their trip to Thailand) that somehow made Ryan lose favor in her eyes. Between not having the ideal parents and the other two factors that blinded her, infatuation (Jerry) and a comfortable life style (John Paul), she let Ryan get away.

Now if you think I don’t know her well enough to make that judgment, then listen to what Andrew Firestone, her former boyfriend of a year had to say. On the Bachelor tells all episode, he completely concurred with me and said that the right guy for Jen was Ryan. Remember he knows her personally and intimately.

So yes, I was very disappointed with Jen. I think that a lot of women make the same kind of mistakes. I think everyone should watch the Bachelor/Bachelorette to learn and absorb how to and how NOT to date appropriately. No where else can you have an intimate glimpse at the detailed interactions, mistakes, and foibles that people make in their dating life, like you can here.

Live, watch and learn…

[Passionate Life]

P.S. By the way she wasn’t handed 25 guys that ABC picked for her. She watched thousands of tapes and interviews and went through the editing process with ABC and had input on which guys should be on the show. We should all be so lucky to have an incredible opportunity like that. It seems a pity to waste it on someone who does not have a very clear understanding of herself and what she is looking for. It’s funny, I liked her as a person and was really rooting for her, but in the end she let me down. Not because she didn’t find love, but because she did not utilize her full arsenal of tools (her brain) to choose wisely.

Best of luck to you Jen,

Live, learn, and grow…

[La Chat Noir]

Hey ... love the new site!

[Janet]

I gotta disagree. It's all fine and good that Jen chose herself, but I think she could have talked it over, im'ed, text messaged or SOMETHING poor ol' Jerry. Instead the disillusioned guy had to get the shaft on live tv.

Of course, no one really asked me.:)

[Janice]

I just wondered pnto this post and subsequent comment-comversation and found it very interesting. I think that a few pertinent facts, IMHO, were omitted.

#1 -- that "dating" on a reality show cannot be equated with "dating" in the real world. #2 -- giving someone the shaft on tv is going to hurt more than if it were done in private, by email or text-message, but that's what these guys signed up for. #3 -- for Jen to not be persuaded by the Harry Winston diamond and all of the other trappings, and choosing to stay single, shows that she does have integrity (despite selling her private life to television.)

And #4 -- Esther, why isn't this on your JDatersAnoymous blog? :-)

[Jason]

Just a possibility - Jen may be gay. Watching her kissing on the show left a lot to be desired.