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Bullying is the tactic of the callow, weak, and insecure. Eventually, he will be placed in a situation where he will be called on for his words or actions. Remember that for comfort.


And I will be the one who calls on him. I ignore SOB's until, I don't. Enjoyed your "writing/essay" Urban.


Well Said, Esther. I wonder...


I know exactly who and what you are talking about and all I can say in support is that his single-minded obsession with you is in and of itself a sign of your success. And listen to your cells.


Hey, we all get cyber-stalkers, it comes with the territory. Consider it a badge of honor.At least yours is moral. :)

writersbloc gal

i've no idea who it is you're talking about but seriously, the fact that they take the time to pay attention to you is a testament of your success. whoever it is must be feeling quite insecure around any case, i think you rock!! :)

annabel lee

You are fabulous. He is lame. Ergo, don't waste another second of your valuable life on him. See, once you grow up, you start to realize that you can create your own playground...and you get to decide who's allowed in. And bitter, narrow-minded, repressed jerks? Are not allowed.


Well! I'm sure you're not talking about me, but as someone who once fit that description (and may still, if that kind of person never really changes), take some heart in the knowledge that these kinds of people often don't hate their targets. This guy may just think you're totally hot, Esther, and he doesn't know any other way to show his affection than by picking on you when he feels it's appropriate to do so. Because thoughtful criticism takes so much more effort (and is therefore more romantic!) than blind and empty praise.I'm just saying. ;)


oooh--I stink at ignoring this stuff..For the record I was a pretty good defender against the bully's in grade school--who is this guy? tell him to meet me by the jungle gym during recess....


Very, very good work, my darling. Hokay, I admit it. I'm the obssessed guy. And yes, I'm a writer who is very much involved with himself. But then you came along. Your beauty, your wit, your charm, your youth. I'm transfixed. So if I pull your metaphorical pigtails, you know the reason why. And I can contain myself no longer. I must shed the cloak of anonymity and declare my passion to you and the blogging community. So here it is for all to see. My name is. . .Leon Wiseltier


I'll give you one more warning Leon, and then I'll have to give you a time out and take away your recess. That kind of behavior is unacceptable in my classroom and you are going to have to watch everyone else have fun and play nicely while you sit with me and we talk about what you have done. Am I going to have to phone your mother?


What exactly are you trying to say? It's not clear.

Jack's Shack

Esther,I'd not place much stock in his efforts. Just think about all the energy he spends on you and smile.


I don't get the Leon joke either. I think you should name the mamzer so we can shower his multiple sites with gobs of hate mail.He'll learn: no one messes with the princess of darknessNote: this would be an opportune moment to remind the masses that DovBear really likes your writing, (and that it's simply paranoia making him think that all those emails he's received slugged "stop bothering Esther" or similar, mean this post was about him)


Ummm its spelled 'Wieseltier'

Ken Wheaton

Esther,You talking about me kaka-head? Yoink! Just joking.I will say this, though, and I don't mean to be rude to the other commenters, but so much of this sounds like recycled advice from a sitcom dad.Outside of TV and movies, bullies--the intelligent ones at any rate (and they do exist)--are rarely called to the mat for words or actions, precisely because everyone is running around saying "Oh, don't let him bother you. He'll get his sooner or later." On a global stage, those people would be France or Chamberlain. Don't be those people. Take this fucker out. Publicly. Some might say you're "reducing yourself to his level." Bullshit. You're not picking on someone just for the joy of it. You'd be bitchsmacking someone who gets away with this sort of behavior all the time and possibly be saving other folks down the line from having to deal with his shit.(Then again, he/she could find out where you live and beat you up. There's always that risk).


First, great post. Second i have to agree with Ken on this one. The advice grin and ignore is all well and good. However, people need to be called on their b.s. As someone who has experienced ridicule it hasn't never comforted me when the explanantion people gave me was "he's just doing it to get attention/they actually are in awe of you etc." I guess what i'm saying is bullies are bullies sometimes just to be mean and you don't have to take it. P.S. The new comments section is confusing me.


Thanks, everyone. Annabel Lee, I love your equation. Quite logical. :-)I'm pretty sure that Leon Wieseltier, literary editor of the New Republic since 1983, is not riveted to My Urban Kvetch for his daily dose of Esther.For the record, I'm not talking about Wes or DovBear. To the person who said I'm not being clear, I say that it's intentional. I really don't feel like turning my blog into a space for personality and ego clashes, which it would be if I were to link to the pigtail-puller in question.And I don't view him as a bully, so much. He's more of an annoying enigma at this point.You really want to know who he is and what this is about? Replace the word "what you've written" with "your song selections," and you'll surely understand. If he hates me so much, Simon Cowell's got to stop following me to karaoke bars.

Tupelo Honey

I really enjoy your blog! Great posts :)


Ahhh. . .Esther, mein malka, thanks for covering for me. Of course I'm not Leon WIESELTIER of TNR. I'm that psychological hair-puller, Leon Wiseltier. And ani ohev ohtach the most behbeh. By rhe way, you might as well know now, I slept with your best friend, Sadie, at the Camp Ramah retreat.


And, ummm it's spelled "it's" when it's a contraction for "it is". Not "its", Mr. Anonymous Correction Person


::I slept with your best friend, Sadie, at the Camp Ramah retreat.::People sleep around at Camp Rama? No {-} way!!!


Yikes! Yah go away for a few days and the trolls come out at MUK.While I agree that calling the idiot out might be what's needed to get him to stop, I'm not sure I'd bother. I suspect it would take a fundamental change in his personality and that would take a lot of effort on E's part.We all have a responsiblity to try and help our fellow humans be better people, but you have to pick your battles. A web troll? Seems like a low percentage play in the self improvement gamble. Don't ignore him 'cause he'll go away, ignore him 'cause he's not worth the effort.


I think I know this dude. Heard from him just the other day. Goes by the name of Anonymous.


I have a strong suspicion that I know who it is.

Captain Mainline

So many people say "one complaint won't do any good" but this is cowardly and incorrect. One complaint puts them on notice & the next complaint establishes a trend.

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