Chamomile tea ba-bong??
Oh, that's Babonag, which apparently means "camomile" in Hebrew. Thank God for the English side of the tea box, or I would have thought this was a special kind of tea. The kind you'd consume around 4:20.
(And yes, I'm aware that this is a very Benji-esque post. Not sure how that happened.)
Dateline Berlin, where the late fascist evil person was a featured wax personage at Madame Tussauds along the likes of Hollywood celebrities, sports figures and contemporary/historical politicians. At least until someone decapitated him on opening day:
Just minutes after the museum opened, the 41-year-old German man pushed aside two security men guarding the figure before ripping off the head in protest at the exhibit, a police spokesman said. The police were alerted and arrested the man.
The waxwork figure of a glum-looking Adolf Hitler in a mock bunker during the last days of his life was criticized as being in bad taste. A media preview of the new branch of Madame Tussauds Thursday was overshadowed by a row over the exhibit.
Why so glum, Hitler?
Frankly, it couldn't have happened to a better genocidal maniac.
At least it wasn't a story about some weird proof of love, a la Nicolas Cage's wooing of Patricia Arquette. Because really, no matter how quirky you are, love should never mean having to say, "Bring me the head of Adolf Hitler."
Who doesn't love a theme restaurant? With its specialty menu and cleverly-named dishes and usually colorful cartoon characters, it's fun for the whole family! And usually, the name speaks of the fun you're going to have inside.
Like Beirut's newest restaurant, Buns-N-Guns. (via Reuters)
While in other countries, this name might indicate a fun experience that might be an alternative to Hooters. In Lebanon, it means photos of weapons on the walls, chefs that wear army fatigues, an outdoor dining area adorned with sandbags, and a menu with items like the Kalashnikov, RPG, and (what presumably is the Lebanonian analog to McDonald's Happy Meal) the Terrorist Meal.
This new fast food restaurant in Beirut's southern suburbs, where the Hezbollah movement holds sway, was the brainchild of co-owner Ali Hammoud. He said the war theme was a novel concept that had nothing to do with Lebanon's bloody recent history.
"It's just an idea I had, nothing more, nothing less. I could have put toys in place of the sandbags and teddy bears instead of guns. But it was just an idea," Hammoud told Reuters.
Even the locals are confused:
"First time I came here, I thought it was a weapons shop. When I looked at the names of the dishes, I still thought so. I only realized it was a restaurant when I went inside," said 15-year-old Hussein al-Hajj Ali.
I'm pretty sure that both the RPG and the Kalashnikov are going to be too much food for the average citizen. (Especially if each of them comes with "Freedom From American and Zionist Oppression Fries.") I'm disturbed that this restaurant is popular with teenagers (or anyone, actually). Plus, I really don't want to know what kind of toy comes with the Terrorist Meal. Or what happens when you Super-Size it.
Think before you throw that hedgehog at a child, or at anyone for that matter. You could end up in jail for five years. While we at MyUrbanKvetch wish the child a speedy recovery from this trauma, there's too much comedy in the BBC report to not reprint it as is. So enjoy this tale of one brave hedgehog, sacrificed because of the uncontrollable ire of the man who held him:
A man in New Zealand has been charged with using a hedgehog as a weapon, the New Zealand Herald has reported.
Police said William Singalargh, 27, had hurled the hedgehog about 5m (16ft) at a 15-year-old boy.
"It hit the victim in the leg, causing a large, red welt and several puncture marks," said Senior Sgt Bruce Jenkins, in the North Island town of Whakatane.
It was unclear whether the hedgehog was still alive when it was thrown, though it was dead when collected as evidence.
The police spokesman said the suspect was arrested "for assault with a weapon, namely the hedgehog."
Mr Singalargh is due to appear in court on 17 April. If convicted, he faces up to five years in prison.
I think we can all agree that Pat Benatar said it best: "You know you're already my obsession/Stop (stop!) using hedgehogs as a weapon."
And no, there is no Jewish angle to this story. Hey, it happens.
If you're anything like me, you've been trying to drink more vodka, but just can't seem to force yourself. But what if the container were shaped like a perfume bottle?
Damskaya Vodka...when the only thing preventing you from being a full-fledged alcoholic is that the vodka bottle isn't pretty enough.
Just in time for Purim...
Rumor has it that when you drink too much of this vodka (from a teacup, pinkies up and out, ladies!), you burp delicately, say "ooh, pardon me," and then lightly vomit into your Judith Lieber handbag. That's vodka, lady-style. Don't drink and drive. A lady would hail a cab, instead.
I am speechless this week, in general, for reasons that I'll share when I can. But in this particular moment, the reason I am speechless is because of a new household gadget that takes good old Suzanne Somers-style Thighmaster ingenuity and polygamously marries it to both your love of politics and your frustration with unshelled nuts: the Hillary Nutcracker.
An item like this can be yours for only $19.95. Apparently.
And I wonder: if you were a political candidate, which household gadget or appliance would be cleverly modified to best express something about yourself?
Back in the day, I loved the Kids in the Hall, an all-male sketch group from Canada that had been discovered and imported by Lorne Michaels of Saturday Night Live. Due to a few late nights "at the office," I've stumbled across IFC's newest Kids on the block...The Whitest Kids U' Know.
This sketch comedy group doesn't hold anything too sacred or to be too silly for them to tackle. Taking a farmer time traveling to watch him "freak the f*ck out"? They'll do it. A sketch titled "Space Potatoes"? Yup. The true story of what happened to Abraham Lincoln? Done.
Because it's IFC, there's some naughty language and occasionally some brief and usually pointless nudity. But not in this clip below, which I share with you as a writer.
Sometimes, it feels like you've been writing forever. And really, the whole time, you've been writing in pie. Genius.
The streets of Jerusalem are no strangers to graffiti. Usually the nature of the scrawling is easy to discern: black spray painted letters spelling out the Hebrew equivalent of "Meat=Murder," or the occasional pro-feminist sentiment. But I have to say, it takes it to a whole new level when your friends are transformed into a stencil fit for spray-painting on walls in Jerusalem.
That's right...if those kids in the image at left look familiar, it's because they are the graffiti representations of my friends and PICZ co-founders Ariel Beery and Aharon Horwitz. The tag continues to go up at various sites in Jerusalem--as of press time, it was spotted in Nachlaot and in the town center, with new sites being reported all the time. And by the way, Aharon and Ariel have NO IDEA who's
responsible. They've already interrogated the usual suspects: the
PICZers who are still remaining in Israel, and select Jerusalem
hipsters and have come up with nothing.
I took a class in college that had a section about graffiti tags, and traditionally they were either boastful of the tagger's prowess in creating a public display or a denigration of the work of another tagger (essentially blog flame wars, sprayed on walls instead of on the internet). So naturally, I have questions: is this supposed to be an homage to the two young thinkers? Or is it some sort of viral criticism of their work? All I can do is parse what is there--two Alephs, to signify their initials, and blue on white, to invoke Israel. And that sounds like homage. But since when do people create a tag featuring other people that is a positive endorsement? This would be a great viral promo for the next Creative Zionism institute, scheduled for this summer, if the guys were responsible. But they weren't.
This, my friends, is a Jerusalem graffiti mystery. I deputize you all: find out who is responsible and what their point is. Post your findings and speculations, and we'll solve this one together.
"I read through that Handbook for the Recently Deceased...it says live people ignore the strange and unusual. I myself am strange and unusual..." -- Lydia Deetz, "Beetlejuice"
I remember some weird stories of the years gone by: from stained navy Gap dresses to the guy who mailed himself home to save on airfare...
This year, many countries entered this unofficial weirdness competition. Click to see the complete story for each of the headlines below...
South Africa: "Honey, You've Set Fire to My Penis"
Germany: Norman Bates Revisited; Smelly Feet; "You're Too Sexy for My Bus"
Croatia: Where the Dead Ride the Night Train
China: Swallowing Live Frogs and Rats is Good for Intestinal Health
Yugoslavia: Burqa Bank Robbery
This is a weird world. But the Jews have a blessing for when you see something strange and unusual. "Blessed are you, God, Ruler of the Universe, who varied the creations."
So this new year, let's appreciate diversity and difference, wherever it pops up.
I know, you've been looking for a way to publicize your support for a Presidential candidate, but haven't quite committed to the lapel button...and you're looking for a way to also celebrate your endless love for a guttural language made up of half-Hebrew and half-German.
Well look no more!
Yiddish campaign buttons are now available for all of the major candidates. The design, which won't win any creativity awards, is the same no matter what candidate you're supporting. To my eye, "Rudy" in Yiddish looks the same as it does in Hebrew; "Hillary" looks like it could be transliterated as "Hey Larry," and "Obama" looks like an amalgam of "Aba" and "Ema," which is appropriate since my father sent me this link to begin with.
Change is good
