MY URBAN KVETCH

My TV is Jewish: Kabbalah on "Flash Forward"

 
After much consideration of the entertainment programs I've seen recently (see this week's episode of the Family Guy), I'm pretty sure that my TV is Jewish. I mean, how could so much television on its own generate so many Jewish references? I'm not DVRing anything and asking for it to record anything "Jewy."

The latest reference was tonight on "Flash Forward," which I'm hoping will fill my "show where the main character pieces together things on a bulletin board" gap (Prison Break, Life) and what will be known as "the hollow, empty void where 'Lost' used to be" (after that show ends in May 2010 - one month after the fictional day that all the FlashForwarders flashed to during their 137 seconds of blackout).

In case you're wondering why 137 seconds, tonight's episode revealed that (SPOILER, SPOILER, SPOILER...but not really, knowing this piece of information doesn't spoil anything more than the shock that this show has just incorporated some random piece of Judaica) the reason is because of Kabbalah (by which they may mean gematria, but I suppose Kabbalah uses numerical values for letters at points too - I guess I'll ask Madonna next time I see her). The letters in the word Kabbalah, in Hebrew, apparently add up to 137 seconds.

What's the point? Is this blackout going to turn out to be bad for the Jews? But since this information is delivered by a Nazi, perhaps it's a bit suspect. Also, unclear why Kabbalah is involved with this emergent a) plot to control humanity, b) invasion by aliens, or c) Benjamin Linus. (For those keeping track, Dominic Monaghan is still AWOL, but another "Lost" cast member showed up tonight - Kim Dickens, who played Cassidy, Sawyer's lady love and baby mama.)

BTW, while perusing the IMDB page for "Flash Forward," I noted a weird crossover that I thought I had imagined during the first two episodes: one of the FBI agents in the "situation room" post-blackout...Seth MacFarlane. That's right. I didn't imagine anything. Not even that Oceanic Air billboard in the background during the first episode. Check out the show FAQ here.

Connecting to Jewish Community: In-Person and Online

This is a tough time of year, for anyone who's encountered loss in the last year, for anyone suffering from the weight of their own circumstances, for anyone who feels restricted in movement, stagnant or inert in some way. It's a tough time for people who have a tendency (or an overabundance of free time) to think about their lives, how they got to be where they are, and what they'd like to change in the months ahead. 

The liturgy feeds the introspection, urging us to go deeper and deeper into ourselves, even as most of us do so in a crowded synagogue with many people who won't show up there again until next Yom Kippur. For some, this connection is organic and part of their calendar year. They show up as long as they are able.

But what if they're not able? What if circumstances - emotional or physical or financial - preclude their ability to seek out synagogue services for Yom Kippur? Some communities might organize other congregants to hold a mini-minyan in the home of someone who can't travel to a synagogue. But most don't. 

And so it is to fill this void that technology can step in, helping people connect to the holiday and feel like a part of a community in a way that doesn't embarrass them, or bankrupt them, or cause them additional emotional or physical pain.

This week, as I've been helping JewishTVNetwork.com to promote their online Kol Nidre service, I've heard and read reactions ranging from enthusiasm to vehement opposition. There are discussions around such services, as to whether they're diluting or canceling the messages of the holiday, or whether they are permissible according to Conservative halakhah. 

Contemplating Tashlich: Bus, Beach, Bread

[Tashlich is a ritual of repentance in which Jews take bread, representing their sins, and throw them into a moving body of water, in a symbolic gesture of rejection. This year, I did tashlich on the beach next to the Santa Monica Pier.]

Back on a bus after my week with a convertible, my flash-in-the-pan-all-is-vanity car, mine on loan from a friend like a body from God, God who presides over all things – body, convertible, deeds, punishment, and repentance. 

The Day of Judgment looms. After two days of sumptuous meals, round challahs dripping a mess of honey over my holiday clothes and oozing through my fingers, after two days of wishing people a good year, the mood drops from a cheer to a whisper. Somber tones conquer conversations, as people wish you a good fast, or meaningful fast, when really, what it means is you’ll be hungry, or thirsty, more likely, as you sit and stand and sit and stand invoking mercy and compassion from the One True Judge. 

But that’s next week. Today, down by the water’s edge, I pray for the opposite of the holiday. I pray for no judgment at all. I’ve tried to do what’s right this year, but there is so seldom a path that is clearly straight and narrow, and any judge worth his salt – and let’s face it, God deals his salt in pillars – would consider the evidence and have to return a verdict of guilty. 

That’s the point, isn’t it? That behind our blogs and sunglasses and convertibles, we’re all, always, guilty. Every year. 

That’s why I’m heading back to the beach, not for sun and fun, but to dig into self in stead of in sand, hoping even within my Judaism for some holy baptismal moment. In that immersive instant, as my shoes slip off, feet into soft sand, then approach the sea, where they submerge and are washed until they’re…something. Dirt on my feet, even when freshly emerged from water, indicates that just because you’ve washed something doesn’t mean it’s truly clean. 

Revolver Rabbis?: Packin' Heat for Rosh Hashanah

When you talk about the caliber of a rabbi, you're usually not talking about the size of his gun. But this year, that might just change, as a Queens group of rabbis has decided to embark upon a program that trains them in pistol-packing, gun-grabbing and the tumbling and table-flipping that you typically see on TV and in the movies. The goal is to protect themselves, their congregations and worshippers against potential terror attacks.  

Oh how I wish there were no need for stories like this one. But since the stories exist, my hope for him is that the table he's taking shelter behind is bulletproof. Also, allow me to offer another option - a new client of mine, Jewish Television Network organized a live broadcast of a Kol Nidre service last year that was viewed by ove r

Also, it occurs to me that with synagogue singing and the presence of guns, we're actually taking a step back toward "Cop Rock." (With less synth, of course.)

If this story has scared you away from synagogues entirely, or you're otherwise unable to get there for Yom Kippur this year, you might want to check out (new client) Jewish TV Network's live Kol Nidre service, being broadcast on September 27 - it's also an opportunity to experience the amazing Rabbi Naomi Levy and her congregation Nashuva ("a soulful community of prayer in action"), which gets amazing reviews from people here in LA (I haven't been yet, but I've met her and she's really inspiring).

May we all be inscribed in the book of life.

Lindsay Lohan Considering Judaism?

The Daily Mail brings us the latest news about Lindsay Lohan, who is rumored to be considering conversion to Judaism. In case you've been living under a rock, the reason for Lindsay's religious shift is not a driving desire to celebrate the upcoming holiday of Purim but because Lindsay's girlfriend Samantha Ronson is Jewish.

The occasion for the latest frenzy over Lohan's religious affiliation was that she attended Ronson's half-brother's bar mitzvah at a Westminster synagogue:

Showing her seriousness about converting, Lindsay had also visited the synagogue the day before with Samantha and her designer sister Charlotte. Entering the synagogue, a photographer asked Lindsay if she was switching religions, to which she replied: 'I'm trying.' Updating her Facebook status this week, Lindsay wrote 'I'm converting'.

Many commenters on a similar story on Haaretz doubt Lohan's commitment to the religion, and Lindsay's own dad thinks it's another phase of religious exploration, noting that she's already plowed through Kabbalah and Scientology. "But either way, she's involving God in her life, and I'm happy about that," he said.

Besides, we all know that Facebook status updates need to be taken seriously. If I ever convert to another religion, I promise to let you all know about it via Facebook.

Mishpatim, in Memory of Dave and Andrea

There's something about winters, for sure.

Just yesterday I found out that my college  friend, Andrea Oliveri, had died after a long battle with breast cancer. And last winter, my ROI friend, Dave Burnett, died in a hiking accident in Petra, a loss which - after twelve months' time - is still felt.

Jewish tradition says we're supposed to hear these pieces of news, of people lost before their time, and say "blessed is the true judge," uttering praise of God's reasoning even when we don't understand it. We're supposed to be comforted by the knowledge that there's a plan even if we don't know what it is, or something like that. Call me crazy, but personally, I don't find five words like those (in English - Hebrew presents an even terser three) adequate, or even helpful, because in a time of loss and mourning, nothing ever is.

Dave died in January 2008 and Andrea this past Friday. But because of the way the Jewish calendar works out, the Torah-reading timeline presents an intersection of sorts centering on the Torah portion known as "Mishpatim," roughly and inadequately translated as "laws," and often known as the "patron portion" of lawyers and those in the justice profession.

A year ago, I delivered a dvar Torah (words of Torah, or a mini-sermon of sorts) at the Skirball Center in New York on the Torah portion, dedicating my talk in Dave's memory as I tried to cope with the loss that was still so fresh. (If you want to hear the whole thing, download the podcast on iTunes.)

This is an excerpt from that talk which centers on the response the Jewish people gave when offered the Torah - "we will do, and we will listen." This statement puzzles readers, because usually the instinct is to listen to someone and then, if the suggested course of action seems reasonable, take action. It speaks to the concept of life's cycle, to the role of community and the role that our history - including both pain and love - plays in creating our future. I offer it here in memory of Dave, Andrea, and all the people who are taken from us too early.

White Jews Rapping: I Blame the Beastie Boys

Seriously. I remember when word broke at our local yeshiva high school that one, if not all of the Beastie Boys were not just Jewish, but yeshiva alumni. From then on, it set a dangerous precedent, and Jewish boys grew up with that influence, thinking that within their Semitic DNA was not just the potential for, but an innate ability to, rap.

While there are some notable exceptions, where Jewish boys grew up to be decent or even good rappers (and I'm not listing any of them, so as not to leave anyone out), and while I commend the efforts of the Federation of Jewish Men's Clubs for their attempt to modernize the tefillin-donning instructions, I now feel obligated to share with you this:

"The FJMC presents the first in a series of Wrap Raps. This fun songs tell the story of Tefillin. This one shows how to put it on with a cute song. Please visit our website http://fjmc.org."
I do have to say that I really, really support the efforts of Jewish institutions to take real risks in presenting traditional concepts for a new generation. But rap isn't always the right way. And allow me to call your attention to the most chilling part of this: the phrase "the first in a series." That's right, folks. More wrapaciousness to come.

My LimmudLA Sessions, Revealed

LimmudLA, an annual post-denominational, multi-generational conference exploring all facets of Jewish life and identity in which everyone has something to learn, and everyone has something to teach is being held February 13-16 in Costa Mesa, CA, and I'm involved with four sessions.

Reshaping the Jewish Future: A Look at Young Jewish Innovation Worldwide Jewish demography studies have focused on the dwindling birth rate. But beyond the numbers panic, Jewish innovation and creativity has seen unprecedented growth as a cohort of young Jews are changing the Jewish future through creative programs. Join representatives of the ROI Community (a global network of Jewish leaders in their 20s and 30s) for a discussion about community partnership with these new initiatives and a glimpse into how globalization may affect the Jewish people.

The Singles Scene: Jewish Dating in the Age of J-Date
Scott Perlo, Esther Kustanowitz, Suzannah Warlick
It has been said that all is fair in love and war, but is everything really fair in the pursuit of love? What are the "sins" of modern dating and matchmaking? How does the Internet affect how we connect with (and sometimes disparage) each other? What do Bible stories teach us about relationships? And how can we as Jews apply our ethical code and tradition to the process of matching ourselves and others? Our panelists explore ethical dating in the modern age.

'Jews' Line is it Anyway?: Basic Improv for Jews
Let's face it: we may be the people of the Book, but our history, while widely documented after the fact, is not pre-scripted. As a people, Jews have always improvised in daily life and our adaptability, intelligence and humor have helped us become an active part of comedy and popular culture. Join other beginning improvisers for basic improv icebreakers and some light cultural analysis of what makes these short-form improv games "Jewish."

Writing Workshop: Find Your Megillah There's a megillah inside every Jew, not just those named Ruth and Esther. Jews are natural storytellers because our faith is based in oral and then written history. But what makes a story worth telling and retelling, generation after generation? In this experimental writing workshop, visit some noteworthy texts from Jewish tradition and engage in free-writing exercises based on and inspired by those texts.

Times and room assignments will be revealed on site, so if you're going, make sure to look for me on the schedule and running around the conference. For more information about LimmudLA, see their website.

First Hot Passover Product of 2009: Proving Elijah Exists (Even if Santa Claus Doesn't)

Table-shaking...lame. Pretending the liquid level in Elijah's cup has receded...hella lame. But an Elijah cup where the level of liquid actually does go significantly down? Passovertastic.

Marc Jaffe invented the ElijahDrinks cup after going to a Seder where, upon inviting Elijah in, the hosts shook the table to make the kids think that Elijah had entered. While Marc’s family had never made any pretense of Elijah actually coming in, he thought that this table shaking was a rather feeble attempt at what could be a good idea. His background as a comedy writer (Seinfeld, Mad About You) had him thinking of some fun ideas, and he came up with a winner – an Elijah’s Cup that drinks itself.

The ElijahDrinks cup will sit on the Passover table filled with wine until the time when Elijah is invited in. At that point the host will pick up the cup, invite Elijah in to drink and declare confidently that this year Elijah will drink, and then, after the cup is set back down, to everyone’s amazement, the wine will slowly disappear.

In my opinion, as far as invisible cultural characters go, this gives Elijah a leg up on Santa Claus, the Easter bunny and even the Tooth Fairy (although she does bring money, which is always appreciated).

What's next in "Operation Keep the Kids Interested"...turning water red in mimicry of the first of the ten plagues?

Catch a video with the creator here:

Gaza, Katy Perry, Selling Virginity, and Original Sin - Beliefnet's Eclectic Offerings

I'm sure that post title will bring in lots of interesting people...but that's kind of the point: all are among the varied topics covered on Beliefnet today.

Regular readers know that I write for Beliefnet over at one of their blogs, Idol Chatter. But beyond that, I've just been really impressed recently with the range of topics that their writers cover, from pretty much every religious, spiritual or political perspective, and I wanted to present you with some examples from other Beliefnet blogs that you might want to check out.

Tony Jones, who defines himself as a "New Christian" and writes in a blog of that name, speaks candidly about his traditional education, and now believes that original sin is a "depraved" idea: "I have come to reject the notion of Original Sin.  I consider it neither biblically, philosophically, nor scientifically tenable.  And I'm going to spend this week blogging about why I've rejected it."

Before pop star Katy Perry released the song "I Kissed a Girl," she was the daughter of two pastors who released a Christian album in 2001 under her real name, Katy Hudson.  Over at "Gospel Soundcheck,"Joanne Brokaw reports on a recent press conference in which journalists interrogated Katy about her background, and the cult following that she's received as a result of the possibly-sapphic anthem.

At his blog, City of Brass, Aziz Poonawalla approaches issues from the perspective of a Muslim of the West. He notes how the Gaza conflict is resulting in a disturbing upward trend in anti-Semitic emails, invoking Hitler and drawing "the usual Nazi comparisons" from people he describes as "intelligent, tolerant people - mostly muslim, but also christian, hindu and atheist - who have never been tainted by anti-Semitism in the past." 

And there's more...the S.A.G. tribute to actors who died and "where they might be now"...why the girl who's selling her virginity views it as an act of female empowerment...spiritual redemption in "Waltz With Bashir"...and...ok, I'll plug my most recent posts: Is everyone loving "Loving  Leah," the CBS movie about levirate marriage, or is it another sellout?...and my "Lost Thoughts," in which I claim that "Lost," "Pulp Fiction," and other "out-of-sequence" shows are really echoing an approach to reading the Bible. Yes, I'm that nerdy. It's a badge: I'll wear it with pride.

And weirdly, I've been quoted and linked in The Week for my comments about the extortion plot against the Travoltas. Strange Monday.