Hi, and welcome to a headline I never imagined would exist. But yet, it does.
While it wasn't a Purim joke, the timed release of this video illustrates a sense of humor that it most appropriate for this season. Plus, the location is truly inspired.
The new ROI Community Micro Grants were created in order to enable ROIers to pursue speaking engagements, programming and professional advancement opportunities that otherwise would have remained out of reach financially. They are available only to members of the ROI network, but the video is up on YouTube for everyone to enjoy. And hopefully, these new grants will enable members of the ROI network to extend their reach as speakers and project creators, perhaps even into your community.
Today is Oscars Day in Hollywood. For the 2nd straight year, no one has invited me to the red carpet or to the awards. This is obviously a huge oversight. In protest, I've not seen any of the nominated films, except "A Serious Man," which was required of all Jews.
However, I was recently invited to the Movieguide Awards (OK, so I invited myself, but are we really going to quibble about semantics?) I created one video post for Beliefnet's Idol Chatter (the official reason I was there), and just uploaded the "scenes that didn't quite make it" (see link at left or embed below) - and yes, the Melora Hardin interview appears in both because I love Jan Levinson.
But I thought that beyond the Movieguide Awards, I might take a few moments to make some Oscar predictions. These premonitions, these insights into the inner workings of Hollywood have been gleaned through careful analysis of contemporary trends, delving into celebrity psyches, and general observations of the non-blue human species. And might make an excellent drinking game. (Drink responsibly, kids.)
Esther's 2010 Oscars Predictions/Drinking Game
1. Mo'nique will a) thank God/Jesus, b) cry, c) hyperventilate. (This is not a multiple choice quiz - she may do all of these.)
2. Quentin Tarantino - through a manic, energy-infused frenzy of disbelief - will a) dedicate his award to justice or the triumph of good over evil, b) possibly mention Jews, and c) (although this is an outside possibility) mention Hitler.
3. Some otherwise attractive actress will wear something awful to the red carpet. Another actress - potentially one who doesn't fit the typical Hollywood size - will be lauded for her fashion bravery or maligned for trying to wear something nice in her size. And young actresses (under 20) will be dressed up to look like they're 30.
4. The Coens will sport some strange facial hair.
5. Jeff Bridges will invoke the memory of his late father and perhaps mention Beau/the Fabulous Baker Boys. Also, keep your ears ready for the name "T-Bone."
6. Jokes will center on the following themes: blue skin, James Cameron making a lot of money, Quentin Tarantino, revenge on Hitler, the fact that there are 10 Best Picture nominees, the awkward "battle of the exes" (James Cameron v. Catherine Bigelow), with perhaps a riff on the Yiddish opening segment of "A Serious Man."
7. Colin Firth will be overlooked tonight. But he'll win someday.
8. There will be moments of imposed sadness, as nominees mention Haiti and other disasters around the world. Then they will all donate their gift bags and the proceeds of their next films to disaster relief. (Just kidding about that second part. Although I'd be delighted if they proved me wrong.)
9. Peter Jackson will go home without an Oscar. But he already has enough of the Precious, right?
10. George Clooney will look awesome, and flash that smile at anyone who talks to him. That smile, by the way, is like that magic light in "Men in Black," except instead of making people forget they've seen aliens, it makes people forget Clooney's "Facts of Life" mullet.
11. Helen Mirren will look awesome and someone will make a GILF joke. Meryl Streep may make a strange fashion choice, but is so awesome that no one will care.
12. Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin will engage in witty banter and show us why Oscars-hosting is tough, even for pros. Although I also think they might totally rock. Potentially, jokes about: Alec in Beetlejuice, Steve's arrow-through-the-head beginnings, the scene in "It's Complicated" where Steve catches a view of Alec's business, some reference to Meryl Streep, 30 Rock and Saturday Night Live.
13. Israel vs. Germany in the Best Foreign Film category. If I took my Delorean back to 1945, no one would believe it. And if Germany wins, Quentin might use his "Basterds" Oscar to bash Germany over the head.
14. Big tears and applause during this year's Death Montage. I mean, "In Memoriam" segment.
15. Someone will make a joke about Facebook or Twitter.
16. You will not win your Oscars pool.
17. You will find the musical numbers pointless.
18. You will eat too much (and possibly drink too much, even without this drinking game) at your Oscars party.
19. Someone will get "played off" way before they've thanked everyone because they spent the first minute at the podium "OhMyGod'ing." I'm looking at you, Mo'nique and Sandra Bullock.
20. No one will ask George Clooney, "Hey, where's @EstherK?
And now, that footage I promised, featuring Melora Hardin, some kid from Wizards of Waverly Place (What's that? Exactly...), and Heroes.
Ever since I moved here a year ago, people have been voicing their predictions/assumptions about what I'd come out here to do. "You're totally moving out there to write a screenplay, I know it," some opined, while others were convinced I'd write the next "Friends" ("It'll be Jewish! And set on the Upper West Side! And instead of going to Central Perk, they'll go to shul!") One of my friends is convinced I'm destined to be the lady version of Judd Apatow, and yet another keeps reminding me that "if Matt Damon and Ben Affleck can write a screenplay, so can you."
My goals for myself were slightly more modest: I wanted to live somewhere other than New York, and, to paraphrase Buffy, "rain bad, beach pretty." But I did have some Industry inspirations: I imagined that being out here would enable me to get to know the Hollywood world a little better. I've been reading Entertainment Weekly and cruising entertainment sites, and commenting here and in other places about pop culture for years. But here, I could talk to the people out here who make it all happen, maybe visit a few sets and befriend some writers who were on different levels, from struggling (I've found a bunch of those) to successful (I've encountered a few of those, too, but they're harder to find in the Pico-Robertson Jewy Jewworld). Then I'd figure out what to do about the now geographical juxtaposition between my writing and that industry that's known both for slaughtering the souls of innocents and entertaining the hearts of millions.
So that's what I've done this year. I've talked with writers for sitcoms past and present, forged a slightly strange relationship with one of the co-creators of "Arrested Development," and tried to learn content, political and creative lessons from showrunners for "Weeds" and "United States of Tara." I even managed to get to one degree of separation from Joss Whedon (all hail, He Who Conquers Television and Internet) on several occasions. I'm learning.
For a woman like me, this Digital Hollywood conference is like a crash course in some things I know and some things I don't know, all at the same time. Obviously, being at a professional conference specifically geared for the entertainment industry in the town I moved to a year ago is a new experience for me: I don't know who the players are; how a TV writer hones her craft and makes connections; how a celebrity gets his or her press; or how Hollywood views the internet.
And yet, I do.
Sure, there are some processes and politics that are specific to the industry of Hollywood and celebrity gossip. But publicity, whether it's for Spencer and Heidi (whatever) or for a name change at an umbrella organization of Jewish federations (see here), is about two things for a publicist: crafting the message and getting that message out. What the message is is situation-specific; and the modes used for distributing that message should be as well. One could point out a vital third component with two parts: relationship - both the relationship between the publicist and his/her client, and the relationship between the publicist/client entity and members of the press.
Several ideas and experiences seemed familiar or intuitive to me, but were hailed as innovative by the audience, which consisted of an eclectic group of underemployed, self-employed, publicists, writers, editors, actors, producers, content developers, web designers, techie coder geeks, advertising representatives, lawyers, event planners and professional schmoozers. With a group that large and diverse, programming had to be similarly diverse in terms of appeal and approach, and in many cases it was. But it's hard to speak to a group with so many degrees of online literacy
For instance, if you didn't realize that making it in Hollywood was hard, well, you would after attending the conference - at one point I imagined Debbie Allen in the corner, leaning on a dance stick, giving her monologue ("You got big dreams? You want fame? Well fame costs...and right here's where you start paying -- in sweat." FAME!). Also, did you know that "Glee" was popular in part due to its premiere over the summer and then the anticipatory build until the season began in September? Or, that "The Office" didn't have that strong a following at first, but then built because of the online audience? Or that "Dr. Horrible" was financed personally by Joss Whedon? Or that the "Mad Men" characters have been Tweeting, but that they're not supported by AMC - they're a fan initiative? I've never been to a tech conference before, but I, in fact, did know all these things. But the oohs and aahs of the audience proved that not everyone reads Entertainment Weekly like I do.
There also seemed to be unrelenting criticism of bloggers as panelists and attendees seemed to alternately thank the bloggers for mobilizing fans online and condemn them for their unpredictability, and for not following traditional journalism's rules. This constant reference to all bloggers as unprofessional (which is not the same thing as calling them "not journalists") highlighted the fact that people don't get it: blogging is a tool, and all kinds of people use that tool to do all kinds of writing. (This disconnect is something those of us in Jewish journalism/commentary have seen before, if you remember "Jewish Bloggers Are Not the Enemies of Jewish Storytelling.")
Some bloggers write journalistically, others juvenilely. And there's a continuum, of course. Many of us do employ a different tone than traditional journalism, and write in this tone because the medium's democracy and immediacy lends itself to the personal lens that most bloggers take to the subjects about which they're most passionate. But for the most part, I heard people blame bloggers more than thank them: for leaking stories, for lying, for being a source of negative press, for being uncontrollable, for being unprofessional, for ushering traditional journalism toward its deathbed...I was waiting to hear how bloggers were responsible for higher taxes, Michael Jackson's death, and 9/11, but I guess I missed that session.
So, in case I haven't mentioned it, I'm at Digital Hollywood's Content Summit this week in Santa Monica. This is exciting a) because I love learning about how technology has impacted the entertainment sphere and b) because this is the first conference in a while that doesn't feature the term "good for the Jews" anywhere in the program.
Here are some initial "shorts," just perfect for you short-attention-spanners for whom a 5-minute YouTube video seems too long:
Jewish conference: "What? Food again?" / Hollywood conference: "Where's the bar?" (There was no food anywhere that I saw during this conference. Tomorrow, I bring sandwiches. And sell them.)
One thing that Jewish conferences and Hollywood conferences seem to agree on? Sarah Lefton and G-dcast are awesome. Sarah pitched G-dcast to a panel of Hollywood tastemakers and content producers...and they liked it.
There was some debate over whether, when it comes to viral video, it's better to be first than be best. Thoughts?
Saw Justine Bateman within ten minutes of my arrival. She was already surrounded, so I chickened out of talking to her.
Several people predicted that online space would totally take over the entertainment world in the next five years. Others thought it already was taking over the entertainment industry, but that the money models aren't really set yet - we have to figure out when doing our projects what people are willing to pay for in order to monetize the product. I know my money models aren't set yet. :)
In "We Live in Public," the film's subject - Josh Harris - made a ton of money in the dot com boom, and engaged in experiments regarding living in public, having every moment of their lives taped. He's alternately hailed as a visionary, an artist, and a genius (often all by himself), but the truth is that he's accurately foreseen the trends that today's internet users embrace: self-exposure, the need for community approval, connection to people without really connecting to them.
Harris admitted after the screening that he had never experienced real "intimate love," despite the fact that one of his experiments was him and his girlfriend - or as he referred to her, his "fake girlfriend" - living together and being taped in every moment. And the moment when it all clicked that intimate love had evaded him? When he watched "The Truman Show," and saw Truman's wife in their wedding picture, with her fingers crossed behind her back.
There's much more to say on this film and the issues it brought up, but that'll have to be tomorrow. Writer's Boot Camp starts early in the am...
One of the reasons I moved here - yes, I'll admit it now, although I might not have last October - is that Hollywood - TV & film and the people who create meaningful or comedic content - interests me. At this particular moment in the life of Hollywood, there are more scripts than there can be network shows or big Hollywood productions. As it is doing in nearly every other field, the internet is throwing the industry for a loop. An excess of creative content, a recession, a lack of non-reality network opportunities, plus the limitless space of the internet combine for a perfect storm of innovation when it comes to content presentation.
FunnyorDie, CollegeHumor, TheOnion, CurrentTV - all have proven popular and have created (or maintained) high production quality standards for online content. This realm - where pop culture entertainment meets digital life - seems to have been custom created for a girl like me.
I stumbled across Digital Hollywood: The Conference (colon and subhead added for dramatic effect) through a series of "just happened to"s: I just happened to go to the Mediabistro networking event, and just happened to strike up a conversation with Lana Rushing, and we just happened to be talking a week later on an unrelated issue when she mentioned Digital Hollywood. The more I looked at the list of sessions, the more excited I became about the topic. Then I saw the words "Hollywood Content Summit," followed by magical phrases like "pitch camp," "writing boot camp," "comedy master classes," etc - within an hour I was signed up.
Yes, that's right, people...just because the news of Michael Jackson's and Farrah Fawcett's deaths broke on Twitter doesn't mean that you can believe every celebrity death mentioned on the micro-blogging service. For instance, singer Rick Astley and actors Natalie Portman and George Clooney were also "reported" to have died in the last week, and are still very much alive in spite of those reports.
Look, people, social media is important, and I do enjoy some nice Twittering in the morning (afternoon, evening and late night), but just because Twitter reports it doesn't make it true.
Or does it? "The Colbert Report" delves into these and other issues, in mourning the "death" of Jeff Goldblum.
The Daily Mail brings us the latest news about Lindsay Lohan, who is rumored to be considering conversion to Judaism. In case you've been living under a rock, the reason for Lindsay's religious shift is not a driving desire to celebrate the upcoming holiday of Purim but because Lindsay's girlfriend Samantha Ronson is Jewish.
The occasion for the latest frenzy over Lohan's religious affiliation was that she attended Ronson's half-brother's bar mitzvah at a Westminster synagogue:
Showing her seriousness about converting, Lindsay had also visited the synagogue the day before with Samantha and her designer sister Charlotte. Entering the synagogue, a photographer asked Lindsay if she was switching religions, to which she replied: 'I'm trying.' Updating her Facebook status this week, Lindsay wrote 'I'm converting'.
Many commenters on a similar story on Haaretz doubt Lohan's commitment to the religion, and Lindsay's own dad thinks it's another phase of religious exploration, noting that she's already plowed through Kabbalah and Scientology. "But either way, she's involving God in her life, and I'm happy about that," he said.
Besides, we all know that Facebook status updates need to be taken seriously. If I ever convert to another religion, I promise to let you all know about it via Facebook.
My whole life I've been obsessed with the Oscars. And now I live in Los Angeles. And I'm not at the Oscars. Not only that, but I just tuned in a few minutes ago.(But last night, some visiting friends from New York and I did brave the experience of making the pilgrimage to the red carpet in front of the Kodak Theater, which I consider the fulfillment of my local Oscar experience.)
So I missed the opening whatever it was, but thanks to the internet, I have every confidence that I'll be able to view anything I missed live on the magical interwebs. Luckily I tuned in just in time to cover the people you most want to know about.
Temple Beth Oscars
I got to the TV to see Sarah Jessica Parker in a fancy dress (who really cares anymore? see below for more), and a duo that made Jewish hearts (and blogs) beat a bit faster, with MOTs Natalie Portman and Ben Stiller presenting side by side some comedy shtick. Less funny is Stiller's expression of the desire to "retire from being the funny guy," and funnier was Portman's proclamation that "you look like you work at a Hasidic meth lab." (One reader points out that Stiller's beard was an homage to Joaquin Phoenix's recent weird appearance on Letterman.) This will remain funny until tomorrow, when said presumed-fictional-and-funny meth lab is uncovered deep in Boro Park.
Next, a short film by Judd Apatow and starring my favorite couchstoners, Seth Rogen and (as far as I'm concerned honorary Jew) James Franco, giggling at movies that weren't nominated. I giggle with them. Not because I'm stoned. Just because I always do.
Gotta Dance! Gotta Promote Beyonce as Etta James!
"The musical is back!" host Jackman yells, pumping his fist into the air triumphantly, after an eclectic (or some would say "completely random") collection of lines and musical riffs from musicals ranging from "West Side Story" to "Hairspray," from "Chicago" to "Mamma Mia," and co-featuring the over-utilized and self-promoting Beyonce Knowles, as well as the underutilized background players from "High School Musical" and "Mamma Mia" respectively. Is the musical really back? If Hugh wills it, it is no dream. As for the sequence, I guess you could say I liked it, but I'm not going to put a ring on it.
Mourning Becomes Oscar
Not shockingly, the late Heath Ledger wins for Best Supporting Actor. And the gracious acceptance on behalf of Matilda omits the support of Michelle Williams, a shocking omission even as we knew from media coverage that there was a conflict and that this was probably going to be the way it went. All the celebrity eyes sparkled with pre-tears as they thought about what might have been during the rest of the long career Heath would never have.
You're Frozen, When Your Heart's Not Open
Why am I not feeling anything this year? Possibly because I haven't seen any movies this year. I missed almost everything, from Tropic Thunder to Slumdog Millionaire, from The Reader to Benjamin Button. Didn't catch a single one of them. Not even The Dark Knight. (I know.) So maybe it's just a little hard to feel connected when I feel like this year's Oscars is an awards ceremony held in another country about movies I don't know anything about. Really surreal. But then again, there's the fact that it's not just me. It's Hollywood that's got Oscar fatigue.
Random Acts of Headwear
Philip Seymour Hoffman. More like Philip "See Less Head" Man.
The Little Movie that Could
Slumdog Kajillonaire. Overhyped or not, I think I'm going to have to see this film.
This Year: India...Next Year: Israel?
The guy who just won for best music now sings the nominated best song from Slumdog Millionaire, which of course wins . Or, to quote my friend sitting on my couch: "How can you beat Bollywood? I want Israel to be doing this. I want Israel to win an Oscar, and for this to be a live performance of Israeli music." Of course, for that to happen a movie from Israel that's not about the Holocaust or the Palestinian conflict would have to make it to Hollywood's inner circle. Which is...unlikely. And which leads us into "Waltz With Bashir," which fails to win a Best Foreign Film statue, and instead loses to "Departures" from Japan. The statuette is then accepted by Hiro Nakamura. And...scene.
And now, I'm heading out with some friends. So you'll have to enjoy commentary from someone else for a while. Back later with a summary, if I feel like it. Celebs, see you on the streets of Hollywood. And if you see me, don't be too nervous to talk to me. Remember what US magazine has always striven to teach us: I'm just like you.
First of all let me say that if I were Michael Phelps's age, had been a professional athlete for-like-ever, could eat like a circus elephant and win even one single gold medal in anything other than blogging (and I haven't even won that), then I'd feel entitled to toke a little. The dude was not on a bender, smoking crack, or even doing body shots at some sketchy Tijuana bar. If you think about it, in terms of what that boy ingests in a day, one night of marijuana probably registers physically as little more than the amount of secondhand smoke you absorb by passing a smoker on the street. I bet the guy could probably smoke an entire dimebag (I don't even know if people say that anymore) and drink a bottle of tequila and be more focused and centered than the average Israeli politician. So back off, corporate America.
