Esther Kustanowitz - Consulting & Freelancing Whether you need a content plan, communications strategies, or a social media orientation, I can help you. Reasonable rates available - contact me at esther.kustanowitz at gmail.com.
So is my mom in the 7%? And if not, can you connect us, Skype?
Three years after losing my mother, I'm beginning to gain some perspective.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still devastated at my mother's absence and irritated by the onslaught of media messaging. And while I appreciate the sentiment, Skype telling me to call my mom on Mother's Day is a bit much - unless they actually can connect us, in which case, a resounding "yes" and "my bad for calling you out."
But halfway through Mother's Day here on the West Coast, I'm encouraged by the variety of posts I'm seeing - primarily on Facebook, but in other media outlets as well (see some interesting links below) - that indicate love for mothers past and present, hopes for future maternal roles, and the acknowledgement that although this holiday is an invented Hallmark one, its presence can be one that inspires some and hurts others.
Especially that last circumstance is something I'm seeing explored more and more, and although I don't envy the hurt that provoked the shift (because I do have my own), the fact that more of us are speaking out about this day as complicated (for some, suddenly so) is a good thing. It creates empathy among us all, increases appreciation and encourages us to reach out to those who make an impact regardless of whether they're biologically mothers or not.
As some of you may know, I have published two Mother's Day pieces - "Dealing with the Mother's Day Motherlode Now That Our Mothers Are Gone" last year, focusing on the media onslaught, and this year's "Marking Mother's Day When Mother is Gone" in the NY Jewish Week, which (if the Facebook Like counter is a reliable measure) has been read hundreds of times since it appeared on Wednesday. I've been blessed with really great feedback on these pieces, and have been very gratified to see this subject covered so well by other people who are putting their lives back together again after loss, and putting words to the process to share publicly. I wanted to use this space to share four pieces - not written by me - that I found moving, helpful and resonant over the last few days.
I've been to five LimmudLA conferences, and have twice been granted access to the Mothership - the original UK Limmud. At all of them, I've experienced new approaches to familiar texts, fresh opinions on Jewish engagement, and reinvigorated connections to culture and tradition. This weekend is my first time to the NY version of the conference, and I'm ("only") doing three sessions, so I'm super-excited to participate lots. It's sold out, but you can check out the schedule here, and don't forget to follow along with the Tweets at #limmudny.
Find me on Friday night after dinner doing a TalkSpace on Modern Jewish Identities and Global Culture (or something like that...). We'll raise and discuss some difficult questions about Jewish identity, connection and responsibliity. Seating is limited, but we might have a few seats available...
Then, Saturday afternoon, join a group of people who have experienced grief or who are anxious about a future loss, or those who want to reach out to friends who are grieving for Nothing Helps (But This Might Help): Community and Comfort in the Social Media Age. The loss of a loved one throws the world into chaos, for mourners and for the people who surround them. Whether you've been through a loss in your family, or you've recently tried to comfort someone who has, come for some open, honest talk about what may help, finding humor in unexpected places, and how today’s Jewish community (and you) can use technology and personal interactions to support those who grieve. (In memory of my mother, Shulamith z”l.)
And finally, Sunday night, at Yaffa & Esther's Excellent Limmudventure: A Judeo-Cultural Odyssey, Jewish comedy is a tradition as old as the Talmud. But don't take our word for it - join us for a conversational, potentially controversial collision of pop culture, tradition, text, feminism, technology and Jewish identity, reflected through re-enacted scenes (or YouTube clips) of movie dialogue and their Talmudic parallels. Most sources and YouTube clips will be in English (unless we find a really awesome one in Hebrew). Some Talmud sources and movie dialogue may not be rated PG, especially since this session happens late at night and some people may have started, um, celebrating already.
Overall a good mix of Jewy, cultural and communal. And those are just my three sessions...
Looking forward to seeing what the other 799 participants have in store for us. :) Catch you all on the flip side of this intense conference experience. A wonderful Shabbat and weekend to you all.
On December 2nd, 2012, sixteen Muslim and Jewish organizations across Los Angeles joined to create "Home: True Stories of L.A.'s Muslims and Jews" - a unique cultural event centered around the theme of "home" with music, stories and interactive art installations. The evening was co-hosted by New Ground Executive Director Sarah Bassin, and Edina Lekovic, Director of Policy and Programming, Muslim Public Affairs Council in L.A.
Inspired by the wildly popular Moth Story Slams, six Muslims and Jews shared their true tales (see links and embed below) about what "home" means to them as audience members had the opportunity to explore the concept for themselves. More than 200 people came to hear tales that covered everything:
how religion and medicine link an orphaned doctor to his family history
the role of guava jam in linking to family heritage, tradition and identity
finding the courage to escape from Torah camp
the evolving definition of home, involving blackouts and the Wizard of Oz
how grandparents' post-war visit to their towns in Eastern Europe redefines home
a boy's inspired connection with his grandmother that continues to motivate his drive for success
I am honored to be attending and co-facilitating at Opening the Dor, an event in Berkeley, CA, geared to engage East Bay Jews between the ages of 21-45 in creating a collective vision for a vibrant East Bay Jewish community.
Areas of focus will be Arts & Culture, Social Justice, Spirituality, Gender and Judaism, Technology/Social Media, Leadership Development, Philanthropy, and others, with focus groups facilitated by local organizations of the Jewish community. (One guess where I'll be.) Participating organizations include Birthright Israel NEXT Bay Area, G-dcast, Moishe House, Progressive Jewish Alliance-Jewish Funds for Social Justice, ROI Community and others.
Bay Area peeps, hope to see you there on Monday, September 19. (Check out the Facebook event page or the registration page for more info and to save your place.) And if you can't be there in person, follow us on Twitter at #openingthedor.
I've been on an exhausting conference circuit these last four weeks, but one conference I wish I'd had the time and money for was the indie sensation South By Southwest (SXSW). This year, SXSW featured a panel on "Jewish Synergy," convened and presided over by Chaviva Galatz and Susanne Goldstone Rosenhouse (of @JewishTweets fame).
Below is an embed of the entire session, which runs over an hour. But to help you out, I've included my own breakdown of some choice moments - including shoutouts to many innovative initiatives you may know - below. (All times are approximate, so if I'm off by a few seconds, don't sue me.)
25:00 - Someone who submitted his idea to LA's Next Big Jewish Idea search expresses frustration that he wasn't able to get community support for his idea
27:00 - Susanne delivers shoutout to and explanation of the ROI Community as a place for people from all over the world with "amazing big ideas"
32:40 - You don't have to be a millionaire to support these projects. "You can give $10," Susanne says.
34:30 - A cute baby gurgles off-camera. We later discover it is @mottel's baby, Berel.
38:30 - Over Twitter, @ffidler has asked what we can learn specifically from this Jewish panel that we can't learn from a non-Jewish panel?
47:36 - Chaviva calls her blog "a public service announcement for Orthodox Judaism and Judaism in general," and talks about the #shabbatshalom hashtag.
51:10 - A discussion of how the Jewish community responded to the Japan disaster by setting up funds; "Why don't Jewish organizations tell everyone when we do things for the non-Jewish community?"
52:25 - Susanne says that the fastest growing population on Facebook is women in their 40s, noting "our moms are on there." (Ouch.)
55:00 - Chaviva suggests that we have to pace ourselves when it comes to media, to taper our media consumption.
1:00:00 - Baby Berel makes an appearance on-camera.
1:01:14 - The session officially closes and schmoozing ensues.
When we say "Jewish innovation" these days, we usually mean "Next Gen Jewish innovation." And when we say "Next Gen," we usually mean 20s and 30s. But the truth is that 20s and 30s are a current generation of adults, not an emergent population, at some future point to inherit the Earth. But teenagers? As I was reminded during the recent LimmudLA conference, at which the teenagers had their own track of sessions planned and presented by their peers - teenagers are the real "Next Gen." Now a project has emerged in Los Angeles to remind us of that.
Perhaps inspired by today's emerging Jewish innovation scene, as well as searches for big ideas like the Next Big Jewish Idea (Jewish Federation of Greater Los Angeles) and the Jewish Futures Conference (convened by top Jewish educational organizations at the November GA), Wednesday, April 6th, 2011 at 7:00 PM the Milken Community High School students are having a "Jewish Futures Conference." This experience will provide them with a chance to network, hear their pitches & presentations and share feedback. The projects are available online for public review - students will pitch their projects to a group of judges.
Here's some explanatory text from the Milken site about the conference - as well as a teaser video:
In a transformation of Jewish education, Milken Community High School students engaged in a laboratory for the Jewish Future, developing projects that will renew and innovate Judaism for the betterment of Jewish society. As these teens depart from their immersion on a strong and vibrant Jewish learning community, they will contribute to the Jewish community through their visionary ideas and developed leadership. This conference will provide a unique opportunity for students to receive feedback and build partnerships with community leaders, allowing these young innovative leaders to take their vision to the next level. These efforts serve as a precursor and practice at combining “real” world practicality with core Jewish values.
I'll be there, and am looking forward to experiencing the energy and innovative creative power of the real next generation.
Whoever you are and whenever you're there, if you chose to be in Vegas, you’re probably there because you crave, at least a little, to suspend logic, reason and thought, or because you yearn to reintroduce your serious self to its more spontaneous side. But for 1200 Jews imported for something called TribeFest, the pull to the desert was something more. These Jews, ages 25-45, took the confusing cacophony of Sin City, and added to their agenda of cocktails, craps and clubbing an exploration of Jewish identity.
For me, TribeFest came not quite at the end of two months of conference-going. Most of these were Jewish conferences, each with an intense, exploratory vibe. From the BBYO International Convention to LimmudLA and Jewlicious, those conferences were marked by serious investigations of Jewish life, leadership, culture and identity in sessions large and small, but all of them managed to feel intimate and interactive. TribeFest was a slightly different animal, largely - I believe - because of the size, but also because of the location.
With the location (and imperative to socialize) providing a formidable distraction to the programmed content, it’s a wonder that anyone went to any sessions at all, especially my Tuesday “morning after the last night of Vegas camp” session on careers in the Jewish communal world. But they came, not just to that impossibly scheduled session, but to all of them. In fact, they came in droves – there was a huge line to hear my longtime friend Sharon Pomerantz and author Joshua Braff speak about their respective novels, and I was almost closed out of the “Work the System” session, which would have been its own story had I not been rescued by someone from JFNA who understood that it was important for me to be in that room. At the standing-room only session, passionate attendees tuned in for specific notes of how to encourage collaboration between Federations and innovative initiatives, and in fact, in a challenge of the word “innovation” itself. (Anyone have audio or video footage from that session? Please share…)
At (and after) several sessions, I overheard people yearning for a more interactive framework - breakout sessions of 60 people didn't provide people with the intimacy they wanted, but perhaps had no right to expect from Vegas (or from a conference of this size). I have the impression that many sessions could have gone well into overtime by answering all of the hands that flew up in a room. Of course, it would have been great if we could have managed to filter out "non-questions" - when a speaker asks "any questions?" and people raise their hands and speak without asking any kind of interrogative statement used to test knowledge (but that's not important right now).
Some may have wandered in and out during plenaries (word on the ground is that non-sports fans may have found “Lunch with a Legend” – one of the least diverse sessions at TribeFest - skippable), or traded session attendance to take in a show (or a nap) before the evening festivities, but participants are to be commended for an overall impressive attendance record. And as uninspiring as some sessions and speakers were, others resonated with standing ovations. The incomparable and undisputed TribeFest champion was Alina Gerlovin Spaulding, who spoke passionately and personally about how the Jewish community transformed her life and that of her family when they emigrated from Ukraine - this moment was a watershed, concretizing for many the importance of structures like the Federation in helping families in need. (For a short play-by-play of the conference, see Jewcy.)
I would be surprised if any PhD theses on Jewish identity were born over those few days in Vegas, but there was a palpable feeling of Jewish excitement at specific moments. In the opening plenary, the Hebrew Mamita’s delivery of her eponymous spoken word piece - an exploration of her own Jewish identity and pride - caused a vibrant cheer to erupt at its conclusion. Many identified with the presentation by actress Mayim Bialik, who spoke candidly about her Judaism. (A partial transcript is here.) VideoJew Jay Firestone called it Birthright meets Burning Man in his video synopsis. (My video synopsis is being held for editing by my editor, me.)
In the less-than-a-week time period since the 2.5 day conference ended, there’s been some nostalgic yearning for the energy and people left behind. Twitter, in particular, has hosted a lovefest of energy and private jokes, over the #tribefest hashtag and beyond; Facebook, too, has swelled with wall postings and reminiscences, as new friends communicated across the miles. Just now, people are beginning to upload photographic proof of the good time had by all, and edit videos in a way that conveys said good time, hopefully in a way in which no Jewish professionals lose their jobs. Not that anything untoward would ever happen to a bunch of Jews in as wholesome a place as Vegas...we're just overly cautious that way.
I know the #tribefest hashtag won't last forever - but I'll watch it as long as it's there; like credits rolling at the end of a movie, I'm with them until the final frame fades into the distance, fades to black, and then it's over.
[Here's my first video report for the ROI Community filmed shortly after I arrived. Plus, in case you missed it, here's when I became a one-name sensation, much like Cher and Madonna, of course, but in a Jewish Twitter context. Other videos and photos to come, no doubt.]
I'm sure that the food at TribeFest will be perfectly fine. But that won't stop us from complaining about it. For instance, when the Jews left Egypt - a place where they were enslaved - some of them wanted to go back because the food in Egypt was better. Also, let us not forget the great Hadassah Chopped Liver Incident of 1998. Those of you who were there remember what I'm talking about.
But all of this is preamble for the fact that as I type this, Jews ages 25-45 are converging on (if not already weekending in) Las Vegas, schmoozing, networking, dancing and getting their Jewve back. (That's a new word, people. Jew+groove. Combonyms are fun.)
Tomorrow the content begins, with sessions on various subjects, big musical performances, and the undisputed headlining component of the program, my session on "Passion to Paycheck," undoubtedly will be mobbed by folks wanting to crack the complicated, challenging world of Jewish communal service. So if you're going out in Vegas Monday night (the last night of the conference), prepare to hear this a lot: "OK, I'll go out, but I have to get up early Tuesday for 'Passion to Paycheck' at 9:45am."
I'll be there, representing all the organizations I usually represent at such conferences, and hoping to have some time to socialize with some friends old and new visiting from locations like Denver, San Francisco, New York, DC, Boston and Ann Arbor, MI.
I'm not sure how much time I'll have for blogging, but in the interim, you can get your fix from Twitter: follow the #tribefest tag, or check out my Tweets at @EstherK. If you're interested in how my first time in Vegas went, check out this vintage video from the Israelity Tour in 2008.
And remember the adage: what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, as long as you don't bring 1200 members of the tribe with you.
The Big Easy in the title is not a description of how simple it was for me to start blogging here again. I've been incredibly busy lately, with three part-time jobs that easily together take up 6 days a week if not more. Plus, this was going to be post #2010 for My Urban Kvetch, and I wanted it to be a post of quality and depth, humor and wit. But I was too tired. So instead, I thought I'd share some information about where I'm going. And yes, that's where the title comes in.
One of those aforementioned jobs has been planning an event for and blogging in advance of the annual General Assembly run by Jewish Federations of North America. This year, the conference - which draws thousands of Jewish professionals and lay leaders from across the continent (and, with a number of participants from Israel, we can say "from around the world" as well) - is happening in the home of beignets, jazz and lots of things kosher people can't eat.
My role at the GA is running the NOLAISM Schmooze-Up, a meet-up for GA-goers who are Jewish innovators, social media enthusiasts, or who are interested in either of those two spheres. While I'm in New Orleans, logging at my own "blog properties" will continue to be light, but please continue to follow me on Twitter, and check out my posts on the GA blog, where I'm going to be focusing my writing on Jewish innovation (with a minor concentration, as always, in social media and technology).
If you're not going to the GA, follow all the action on Twitter by following the #NOLAGA hashtag, and check out some of these resources offered by my former client, the Berman Jewish Policy Archive - they've compiled a helpful list of readings that are related to sessions that will be running at the GA.
So in a few hours, I'm boarding at LAX to transfer in ATL to arrive in New Orleans. Only two planes? I guess that's why they call it "The Big Easy." See you all on the other side.
I recently signed up for an event using EventBrite – it offered an option to post to my Facebook wall that I had RSVP’d and was planning to attend. I clicked “yes,” sharing it with my network via my wall. While some people responded that they would be joining me, another discussion also popped up – around the language that event organizers use when they want to attract – let’s just call it – “young energy.” The discussion was remarkable both for its intelligent conversation and for its tone of respect – not always a given in “Facebook wall discussion.”
In my post, I had described the event as being geared for “young professionals,” hoping to avoid the conversation about the stated age range (25-39), because - really, how are a 40-year-old’s needs or ideas older, or less valuable, than a 39-year-old’s? – age ranges delineate the difference between young and old in a way that’s not always helpful.
Sarah Lefton, co-founder of G-dcast.com, registered her frustration with the phrase "young professionals", noting that “this is a pet peeve phrase of mine and Federations seem to love it.”
Susanne Goldstone Rosenhouse (she of Jewish Tweets and so much more Jewish social media), added: “[she and her husband] went to an event here in Dallas for 'Young Professionals' and were literally the only marrieds there. The attendees thought we were chaperones or something. At least in NY or LA its a more ambiguous term.”
I (unintentionally) fomented the discussion with a few words. “Just don’t call it a singles event.”
Sarah responded that her objection wasn’t about marital status, but about the implication of “professionals”: “Are grad students, teachers, artists and nonprofit workers unwelcome? Because to me, what is coded into the phrase young professionals is, ‘people with money.’" She noted that, if truly everyone young is welcome, why not say young adults? Speaking from her experience as someone who was “dirt broke poor” as an artist and non profit employee and felt excluded by Jewish events, she said that “whether they MEANT to feel exclusive is not the point. It's what the perception is on the outside.”
Another commenter responded with the observation that in a different time and place, "Jewish Young Professional" could have meant something different, and that moreover, in different neighborhoods and denominations, even the word “Jewish” has differing definitions.
So here’s EstherK’s question: how do we make sure that what we name our “young professionals” divisions reflects both intention and a feeling of inclusion, while making sure that our events attract the appropriate populations?
Sarah (a former ad exec) suggests that “focus groups help us get outside our own experience…the phrase ‘young professionals’ seems to be at least a psychological barrier to entry to at least some people.”
Most organizations struggle with these labels as well as with age cut-offs. On the one hand, you want to indicate that a certain event is geared with a certain age, area of interest or marital status in mind, so people don't come with vastly unrealistic expectations. But who is to say that a 36-year-old has different needs than a 35-year-old when it comes to programming, socializing, etc? Take me as an example: I don't mind mixing with people who are already married, and who have children. But if an event promising an "exploration of the Passover seder" turns into "how to engage your children during a late-night Jewish ritual," that probably wouldn’t be something I’d make time for in my schedule.
Additionally, the term 'young leadership' may also be a challenge for people who might be looking for a way to engage, but as a participant and not necessarily want or have time for a leadership track. And you don't have to be a commitmentphobe to dislike this term. Unless we say "young leadership" is the same as "young adults" - which makes everyone a leader, whether or not they want it to.
I always vote for inclusion, and for events that are so wildly important and compelling that they include people from across different demographics in a perfect symphony of community...but which events (not the one-offs, like DAWN or even Limmud) can continually, successfully engage all demographics? The reality is that some events are more appropriate for certain populations than for others.
Sarah light-heartedly suggested that I "tell the funders you're achieving your goals on Facebook, to hell with the events. :)"
Done. I’m pretty sure my blog is now eligible for a major Jewish continuity grant.
What do you think, blogosphere? Is there a magic solution to this issue of language, inclusion and specificity surrounding “Jewish young adult” events?
