As everyone in the free world knows by now, Mick Jagger and the rest of the scraggly, scrawny superheroes of rock-and-roll have been touring Israel, taking photos at the Wall and - Mick in partick - showing off Hebrew study by interspersing their betwixt-songs banter with salutations and crowd-pleasing Hebrew phrases. (You can read all about it in Times of Israel.)
But what you may not know is that beyond the 12 phrases shared in TOI, Mick had a whole host of Hebrew phrases up his sleeves for use, should the occasion arise. In an My Urban Kvetch exclusive interview (so exclusive that the interview only happened in my brain), Mick shared an additional list of phrases that he's hoping to use at the Stones' upcoming concert to be held in Kikar Tzion (right near where the Kent sign used to be, you remember):
2. Shatiti hamon alcohol (I drank a lot of alcohol) - This phrase can also be used as an adjunct to phrase #1 or as a precedent to #3:
3. Bat kama hee? (How old is she?) - Let's just assume he's impressed by the spry steps of a sexagenarian and can't believe how young she seems.
4. Efshar l'hitkadem? (Is it possible to move forward [on this bus]?) - Mick had originally insisted on traveling by Egged and Dan public buses, and was focusing his language study accordingly. This phrase was accompanied by:
- Nu, efshar lashevet kvar? (so, can I sit already?);
- Hofshi hodshi, b'vakashah (a monthly pass, please); and
- Nahag, haDELET!! (driver, the DOOR!).
(Transportation post-script: The Stones' manager prevailed upon the band to hire a private bus, and these valuable phrases would go unused.)
6. Yiheh-yeh b'seder. (It will be all right.) - That's what his cardiologist said. Hi-oh!
7. Ani yoter tov m'Justin Timberlake, nachon? (I'm better than Justin Timberlake, right?) - Timberlake made a much-covered tour of the Holy Land before the Stones arrived; Mick was concerned that Timberlake's popularity would impact the Stones' ticket sales, so he learned this phrase to try to sway audiences. Israeli tour managers nixed this, noting that the two acts attracted very different audiences.
8. Shalom, yehudim! Ani ohev falafel! (Hello Jews! I love falafel) - This phrase was banned because tour sponsors were afraid it would look like product endorsement, while those traveling on the bus feared the digestive repercussions of having a tour sponsored by the Middle Easter fast food staple.
9. Efshar schlug? (Can I get a swig?) He refused to tell us why, but much to his chagrin, Mick's not allowed to drink out of other people's bottles anymore.
10. Hetzi kilo rugelach, hetzi kilo lachmaniyot (half a kilo of rugelach, half a kilo of rolls). Please allow the Stones to introduce themselves; they're men of wealth and taste. While they don't always eat carbohydrates, when they do, they buy them in the shuk. Buy in bulk, my friends.
11. Al tat'hil iti. Ki im tat'hil iti lo afsik. Lo afsik. L'o-L'o-L'olam lo afsik. (Don't you start with me. Because if you start with me I won't stop. Won't stop, never never never stop.) While this phrase has boundless applications for a Rolling Stone on the roads of Israel, it proved hard to memorize. In fact, it made a grown man cry. It made a grown man cry.
What other Hebrew phrases would you have taught Mick Jagger - or any rock star - in preparation for his Israel trip?