Chapter 213: In Which I Am Named a Jewish Influencer

Dear readers...the rumors are true. I was one of ten Jewish social media influencers named to the inaugural list sponsored by Jewish Tweets, a program of the National Jewish Outreach Project.

I'm told the competition was fierce and deliberation among the judges continued for so long that we were unfortunately forced to cut the swimsuit competition. (It's a shame, too: we had all been involved in extensive pre-awards training: limiting ourselves to only 1200 rugelach calories a day, and being cautious not to eat or drink for at least an hour before putting on our swimsuits.) 

I'm honored to share company with the other members of the top ten, all of whom are prominent in the Jewish social media world, and who will also experience the benefits of being named to such a list, which include but are not limited to:

• A $2 million pay bump per motion picture
• A company car courtesy of the Jewish people, Better Place and the Jewish people's new BFF Oprah
• The Spice & Spirit Cookbook
• A tree planted in Israel in their honor
• A Bibi Netanyahu bobblehead doll
• A photograph with - and retweeted by - @daroff (donated by @daroff)
• A day pass to Yeshivat Hadar
• Roles as extras in the next Maccabeats video
• Performance slots at the upcoming Jewlicious Festival
• A date with George Clooney (single L.A.-based females only)
• And other prizes including a copy of "Startup Nation" and collector's set of Birthright t-shirts

My acceptance speech video will be forthcoming (spoiler alert: I don't thank Jesus).

Thanks to everyone at NJOP and Jewish Tweets who had a hand in this decision - I will aspire to influence you all for good this year. I'll start now:

"Those aren't the droids you're looking for. Move along." 

Here's to us all - top ten and beyond - using our powers of influence for good: to bring comfort, intellectual stimulation, laughter, joy and unity to people everywhere. May it always be our privilege.

Comments

[Michael]

Congratulations! You are an influence.

But could you maybe post the swimsuit picture anyway? Just for historical purposes only, of course.