Things to Do With Matzah, Lindsay Lohan and the Lost/Passover Racist Experience

The rabbis ask, how can one prepare one's internet for Passover?

If you haven't seen it already, check out my friends Will Levin and Michelle Citrin in the outtakes from last year's viral smash, "20 Things to Do With Matzah." Then laugh your matzah balls off at this latest Andy Borowitz column about Lindsay Lohan's Talmudically inspired film oeuvre. An excerpt:

Herbie Fully Loaded (2005), Georgia Rule (2007), I Know Who Killed Me (2007), etc.

On first glance, Lohan’s most recent movies do not appear to be as overtly Jewish as her earlier work. But not so, according to Yeshiva University professor Shlomo Sitowitz, a leading Lohan film scholar and the only person known to have seen all of her films, including the little-known Confessions of a Teenage Shmata Queen (2002). Sitowitz’s theory, which has gained traction in Jewish cinema circles of late, is that Lohan’s later films are meant to symbolize the Ten Plagues of Egypt. For example, Georgia Rule, pulled from theaters after one week, represents darkness, while the Volkswagen or “bug” in Herbie Fully Loaded represents either locusts or gnats. Scholars may quibble as to which film corresponds to which plague, especially because any number them seem like incurable boils.

What's that about the "Lost/Passover Racist Experience"? Well, I wrote a post for Beliefnet comparing "Lost" and Passover, and got a mix of comments, a few of which pronounced it "racist" and "not even clever or interesting. just words on a page." Ouch. Sure, I'd prefer to be hailed as a comic genius, but I'm realistic: I mean, I'm not Andy Borowitz. I do have to allow for the possibility that pre-Passover, with cleaning and flying all over the place, my sense of humor may have suffered a hit. Still, whether or not it's funny, I'm not sure how the post is racist, but I'm sure someone will tell me.

But to end on a holiday-appropriate note, I'll share my DailyOm horoscope for today (think they know I'm Jewish and celebrating Passover with my family tonight?):

Connecting With Your Roots
Gemini Daily Horoscope

An interest in everything traditional can influence your thoughts and actions today. You may be inspired to dig more deeply than ever before into your family’s history using elderly relatives, documents, and artifacts as source materials. Your search will likely grow broader as you progress from generation to generation and begin to see your heritage in a worldlier context. The links you see connecting you to your ancestors can ground you, reminding you that you are part of something larger than your own life. Consequently, you may feel a stronger connection to your loved ones today, or you may finally feel capable of distancing yourself from patterns that have existed in your family for some time.

Our heritage can serve as a useful guide when we want to learn more about who we are. Family, however distant, shapes our experiences, and even those ancestors who lived and died long before we were born may exert an indelible influence on our lives. The more we know about our roots, the better equipped we are to understand certain elements of our personalities, preferences, and inborn talents. The discovery that we resemble a certain relative in look or lifestyle can be an eye-opening revelation that helps us feel more connected to our ancestry as a whole. Likewise, the knowledge that familial patterns have impacted our development can empower us to break free of our ancestral molds. Today, your interest in your lineage and family history can help you understand where you are going and where you have been.

And after all, that really is the point, isn't it? Wishing you all a happy Easter, Passover, or whatever it is you're doing to reconnect to spirit, humor and history.

[There will be no new posts until Sunday.]

Comments

[Chris M]

As long as you brought her up...what do you think about this Lohan Ronson split Esther?

[Molly G.]

Daily Om knows! It's so weird. Who writes these things?