Seriously. I remember when word broke at our local yeshiva high school that one, if not all of the Beastie Boys were not just Jewish, but yeshiva alumni. From then on, it set a dangerous precedent, and Jewish boys grew up with that influence, thinking that within their Semitic DNA was not just the potential for, but an innate ability to, rap.
While there are some notable exceptions, where Jewish boys grew up to be decent or even good rappers (and I'm not listing any of them, so as not to leave anyone out), and while I commend the efforts of the Federation of Jewish Men's Clubs for their attempt to modernize the tefillin-donning instructions, I now feel obligated to share with you this:
I do have to say that I really, really support the efforts of Jewish institutions to take real risks in presenting traditional concepts for a new generation. But rap isn't always the right way. And allow me to call your attention to the most chilling part of this: the phrase "the first in a series." That's right, folks. More wrapaciousness to come.