Having watched the extended version of "Superbad" this weekend (complete with all the DVD extras, which were hi-larious, including an early table read with Seth Rogen playing "Seth" and Jason Segel playing "Jonah"), I can officially proclaim that if I ever enter one of those auctions of celebrity encounters for charity--if I ever have the money to purchase said prize package, that is--what I want is a chance to hang out with Judd Apatow, Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd, Jonah Hill, Evan Goldberg, Jason Segel and the rest of that gang of crazy guys.
Ideally, such an experience would allow me the immersion experience of dealing with those guys and the on-set hilarity that I witnessed in the DVD extras--so it can be a table read, a day on the set, or a writers' meeting. I'm not picky. If they want to give me a role at the table read, I'm totally happy with that. Sure they scare me a little bit, but in order to overcome your fears, you have to face them.
But did you notice something about that list of dudes? Yep, it's a list of dudes. Maybe what I need is to steal some of the supporting female players (who are they again? That's our first roadblock, right there...) and start our own renegade raunchy comedy factory. Then the Kustanowitz Gangsta-rettes (or [INSERT COOLER NAME HERE]) will meet the Apatowpians for a comedy smackdown. They're funny because they're smart, and we're smart because we're funny, or something like that. They talk about how the film Munich inspires them to get lucky; we'll one-up you and write a scene about how the film Schindler's List can help you find your bashert. There's enough Spielberg to go around, bitches, and we've got a singles crisis to solve...
OK, maybe it's time for sleep now. Maybe.
[Judd! Seth! Etc....Call me!]