Some Notes About Technospeak

Haven't had a good grammar/semantics rant in a while. So here are two things that have been bugging me, technoverbally speaking. And maybe it's me; maybe I'm just too picky in a way that renders me unfit for human interaction. But before I buy that deserted ranch in Montana to isolate myself from humanity, I thought I'd try venting here first.

As a blogger, I write posts in my blog. I do not say things like, "today, I wrote a blog about Madonna and Kabbalah." I do say things like," today, I wrote a blog post about how Seth Rogen should go on birthright." So, as I understand it, you can "blog," you can "write a blog post," but you cannot "write a blog." Unless you're writing a whole blog. But you cannot use it to mean "individual entry." That's a "post." Isn't it?

While I'm here venting about technospeak, allow me to address the concept of a "viral video." While most appropriately used to indicate a video that started small and become so popular that it's almost an epidemic (hence the medical viral image), some people have begun to use this to refer to any video that they themselves create. "I'm doing a viral video of my son singing the alphabet; it's so cute."  It may be cute. More likely, it's kind of boring to everyone outside the kid's immediate family. But one thing it is not is "viral."

Companies trying to be hip or programs trying to appeal to a youth demographic have begun to create short videos for upload to sites like YouTube, and proclaim them "viral videos." This is akin to me assembling some petri dishes in my apartment and cultivating substances from basic ingredients in my house and then proclaiming them "communicable germs." They might become communicable, or airborne, or viral or whatever, but they aren't currently in that state.

Plus, an insider's note to all of you who are proud of yourselves for using such an advanced term as "Web 2.0" or "social networking"...I know you must think you sound very 21st Century for using these terms that the rest of the world is just now beginning to adopt. You might think that you're so ahead of the game  that you are now tempted to move out to Silicon Valley to see if your familiarity with Facebook can translate into big bucks. But the sad truth is that by the time you and I are using those terms, they're frigates of technoverbiage that have already sailed; people in Silicon Valley don't use the term "Web 2.0" anymore, and "social networking" has become "social media." I know this, but only because I have "people."

So, in closing, please continue to "post to your blog," or "write blog posts," but not to "write blogs." Don't declare a video "viral" until you see it's been passed along to hundreds or thousands of others like the flu-bearing sneeze it aspires to be. And if you're going to use terms like "Web 2.0" and "social networking" to impress your less-tech-savvy friends, say it quietly: because any louder, and Silicon Valley is likely laughing at you and too much laughter on a faultline leads to earthquakes. Just saying.

Comments

[Mike Greenberg]

You might think it strange, but looking at it linguistically, you are right on the money! I've probably said "write a blog" when I mean "post."
Your writing, besides the dose of humor that is appreciated, always makes me think!

[Marla A.]

Didn't realize I was so uncool,"technoverbally"-speaking, I mean.Thanks, and I mean that in a good-way!Imagine: I used to think LOL meant LOTS of LOVE....BTW, when you're ready,I know a really-great Real Estate Agt. in Jackson Hole,Montana. JUST SAYIN!!! hahaha!