Adventures in Israeli Medicine

So, here's the story of that weather I was under.

The diagnosis is "severe bronchitis" or "severe pneumo-bronchitis," depending on how many times I asked Ludmilla the doctor, who actually spoke no English that I could discern of. I asked her "Mah yesh li" (what do I have?), and she first said "severe bronchitis" and then I said, "bronchitis?" and she said "pneumo" and then I said "pneumo-bronchitis?" and she said "bronchitis," and we went back and forth a few more times.

It was a fun visit. First Ludmilla poking and prodding, then an x-ray by the technician, Mohammed, who asked me if I had any nipple rings to remove before the xray was taken. (A more emphatic no was never uttered.) Then back to Ludmilla, who gave me a Darth Vader type inhaling apparatus to breathe into until my brain felt both melted and frozen at the same time. My nose was now running, and there was a thin film of saliva over the mouthpiece that I kept trying to wipe off and breathe through at the same time. Then after about 15 minutes, Ludmilla came back and injected something into the mask--no idea what. Another 15 minutes later, we were done.

Then I went over to the pharmacy to get some meds, where the apothecary told me he decided he's only going to give me half the dose that the doctor instructed because he didn't want me to spend too much money at once.

Perhaps the funniest part of this whole story? I began this whole experience at the front desk, where they gave me a plastic cup full of boiling hot tea with sugar and real lemon (ask the seeds that almost choked me when I sipped at the liquid) and asked for my name, I said Kustanowitz and started to spell it and they said, "zeh b'seder, ani makirah et hashem." Truly a miracle. Where everybody knows your name, I guess.

Or perhaps, what she was really saying was a proclamation of faith. "Ani makirah et Hashem," I recognize God. Ooooohhh....

In any case, thanks to everyone for their good wishes, soup, tea and indulgence as I've coughed my way to a new me. Or at least to the old one...

Comments

[VJ]

It's good to hear that you're on the mend Esther. I think all offices should serve tea, and this would tend to calm things down a bit. I'd also try some 'Fisherman's Friend' Lozenges if you can find it, Ricola might do in a pinch too to alleviate some of the symptoms too. But I'm hoping that you're doing better soon. Cheers & Good Luck, 'VJ'

[Yenta]

Speedy recovery to ya, dear....keep drinking that tea. Licorice is supposed to be excellent for respiratory health (a little hippie Jewish mother wisdom for you ;) Easy travels in the Holy Land.

[Hilary]

Wow, so sorry to hear that Esther. I hope you are back to 100% very fast!

[Coelecanth]

Yesterday, as I did my level best to expell a lung or two, I thought: "Sure, she gets sick and it's an adventure, I get sick and it's just whining." With recovery looking like it's not only possible but a better alternative than the permanent release from my phlegmy hell that I contemplated last night, well, I'm feel a mite more charitable. :)

Get well soon E.

[Ro]

Oh my, I'm sorry your sick. I'm like on day 76 of the cold that wouldn't die.

I hope you feel better soon, get lots of rest.