Memed Again

7 things I plan to do before I die:
1. Fall helplessly, deeply, desperately in love with my soulmate, get married, have kids, and write children's books.
2. Publish another book, this one more my own than the other one.
3. Drink wine, eat bread and cheese, and speak French in Paris with someone I love.
4. Be in a Girls Gone Wild video. Be on network television, preferably on a sitcom or by guesting on Ellen).
5. Work up the nerve to go out on a jetski or waverunner.
6. Conquer my fear of the bathing suit.
7. (Stole this from Annabel Lee, the memer, but if the item fits...) Find some tangible way to leave the world better than it was when I found it.

7 things I can do:
1. Write. (Duh.)
2. Sing. (A little.)
3. Improv.
4. Use big words even whilst intoxicated.
5. Do decent karaoke imitations of Cher, Britney and Axl Rose.
6. Make people laugh.
7. Apply lipstick using my cleavage. (Oh wait, that might have been someone else.)

7 things I cannot do:
1. Math.
2. Chemistry.
3. Physics.
4. Suffer fools gladly.
5. Wear couture or very high-heeled shoes.
6. Use the terms "oh no, you di'n't" or "raise the roof."
7. Keep my apartment clean if I'm not having company.

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex:
1. Wit.
2. A great, generous smile that you can see in his eyes.
3. A commitment to Jewish life. (Yes, I am a dork.)
4. Someone who "gets it."
5. A devotion to pop culture, but not to the exclusion of human interaction.
6. Sense of humor.
7. An appreciation for writing. (I was once set up with someone who said, and I quote, "poetry is just stupid.")

7 things that I say most often:
1. As if...
2. A world of no.
3. I'm on the verge of greatness, I tell you.
4. I'm the Jewish Carrie Bradshaw...in flats from Payless.
5. The paparazzi follow me everywhere...welcome to my world.
6. Don't make me come over there...
7. It's all about the fans.

7 celebrity crushes:
1. Jeremy Piven's my celebrity given.
2. Greg Grunberg (or as TV Without Pity calls him, "Agent Sean")
3. Adam Goldberg (gotta have some Hebrew Hammer)
4. Bradley Cooper
5. Scott Foley (Noel Crane should have kicked Ben's ass, but Felicity still didn't deserve him)
6. Michael Vartan (Michael Vaughn)
7. Vince Vaughn (Vince Vartan?)

SCROLLING BONUS: Crushes of the past, from which I've moved on: Matthew Perry, Jonathan Silverman, Ben Stiller and Jon Stewart

7 people I want to do this:

I'm going to count Annabel Lee and Hilary as two, but they've already done it, so I only have to bug five more people.

3. Ari
4. Dawn Summers
5. C
6. Karol
7. Ken, because he needs a distraction from the Katrina coverage

Here's hoping we all live long and healthy lives, so we can achieve as much as we may desire.

Comments

[ALG]

Amen, sister.

[D.F.]

My gosh, so much bitterness in one small space....

[Jobber]

I can do the Girls Gone Wild part for you. I can do the filming and everything.

How hard is it to write a children's book?

[Josia]

And let me guess ... your favorite number is 7 :)

[Mike Greenberg]

"7. (Stole this from Annabel Lee, the memer, but if the item fits...) Find some tangible way to leave the world better than it was when I found it."

I thought that came from the children's book "Miss Rumphius" by Barbara Cooney. Might I suggest "planting lupine seeds?"

By the way, keep up the "Grammar Cop" and "Editing Police" topic. Call me "old school" but I am constantly correcting grammar spoken by children (as well as adults) no matter what new methodology emerges from the pits of academian hell.

[Esther]

D. F., I respectfully disagree. Not bitterness, but even a slight optimism, if you're reading it right.

Josia, I used 7 because that's what the "meme" dictated...I like 7, but it's not my favorite #...

Jobber, I actually have already written half a children's book, but it is not as easy as you think it will be. And beyond that, there's finding a publisher, which is often the most difficult part...

Mike, no worries. If you're even a semi-regular reader, you'll understand that I could never, not even surgically, excise the instinct to editorially police those who want to know better, but really don't...

And ALG, as always, thanks.

:)

[Mike Greenberg]

Esther,
I was referring to the people that "don't want to know better" nor do not care about knowing more.
As a teacher, I love when I can teach "grammar law" to one who does not know and follows the teaching up with correct usage of such law.
On a side note, I love reading your writings - keeps a smile on my face all day long.