MADONNA AND BRITNEY: THE KABBALICIOUS RECAP
Madonna hearts Kabbalah. She gets the best seats in shul even when she's late.
Britney is a Madonna wannabe.
Britney is knocked up by dancer/husband
Cris Judd Kevin ("Keep on pushing my love over the") Federline ("Federline...feels like I'm going to lose my mind...").
Britney says I used to be "like a virgin," but now "I'm keepin' my baby."
Said baby is arriving in September and may or may not be twins.
Britney hearts Madonna (possibly more than she hearts Federline, but that's another story entirely).
Of course, no relationship is without conflict. First, there was that whole incident with Madonna telling Britney that she doesn't have time to be the baby's godmother. (Don't forget to refresh your memory with the secret phone transcripts, available here.) Now there's a report that Madonna is recording with "recording with Britney's rumored nemesis, Christina Aguilera." (Where is this report, you ask? Good question. The link's gone. But if'n I find it, I'll repost it.)
Still, with all the dissent, when it comes right down to it, Britney and Madge are kabbalah sisters. So it may not be a surprise to learn that Madonna will likely be blessing Brit's baby when the child arrives. She is apparently "eager to enlist the pop princess's child into the following." If Madge "enlists" seven members, she does get a free toaster, so here's hopin'. (It's a really good toaster.)
There is no word on whether, should the Federline offspring be of the male variety, a bris will be involved. (Headline: "Madonna Performs Bris-ney"? "The Material Mohel"?)
According to the article, a source explained, "Madge introduced her to the faith and Britney keeps ringing her to find out more."
See? I told you.
"Britney has become more and more intrigued by Madonna's way of life and beliefs," the article reported. Like her belief that "Swept Away" was going to be more like "Evita" and less like "Shanghai Surprise." Or her way of life as a Detroit-born American who now suddenly has a British accent.
Boy, I never get tired of this story.