Some of you have seen it posted on people's weblogs and homepages. It sits there, daring you to click on it, daring you to delve into the private world of the blogger in question, and gives you access to things about them that you didn't know before.
It's called "100 Things About Me," and depending on the blog and its proprietor/proprietress, you can learn everything from food preferences to sexual habits, everything from the intensely emotional to the mundane and irrelevant.
I've been tempted to do one myself. But then I untempted myself.
People may think it's because I'm a private person, or because it feels too raw to have all of these personality quirks posted on the internet for any would-be stalker to see. And they'd be partially right.
But the truth is that within a city-girl's cynical single heart lies the soul of a romantic. I'm saving the whole of myself for him. Wherever and whoever he is, I want him to be the first to discover the little things about me that make me me.
To an extent, information can certainly be gleaned from this blog. There are things that I've said here that are of the rawer variety; you may be able to extrapolate "things about me" for your own list (and the egomaniac in me might encourage you to make such lists). But if you're looking for Esther Unplugged, the purer, more acoustic me, you won't find it explicitly stated in my words.
The list is interesting. But it's artificial. It's a framework, a crutch.
As he gets to know me, and he'll learn some interesting things about me. Some are undoubtedly things that even I don't know about myself. But he'll embrace the challenge. He'll notice nuance. With the benefit of our fresh perspectives of each other, we'll learrn not just about who we are, but what other people see in us.
A person is an undiscovered country, with rough terrain that can be navigated only with the most determined, dedicated, devoted companion. Topographical shortcuts may be available, but better, in the long run, to have tackled the tougher paths together; the brambly, rocky roads less traveled lead to a deeper, more resonant appreciation.