NOSCARSDAMUS

I'm no Nostradamus when it comes to...well, anything. (Except maybe knowing that nine times out of ten, "I'll call you" means "I won't call you.")

But since more than one person has asked me for Oscars predictions, here are my thoughts on the matter for now.

First of all, I predict that I will not be winning an Oscar for my work in Bridget Jones Ungirdled. Moreover, despite rumors to the contrary, I will not be attending tonight's festivities in Armani Vintage Couture, clutching a Judith Lieber purse in one hand, my other arm linked through the formidable forearm of the recently single Brad Pitt.

And as for the nominees:

Best Supporting Actor: I don't think Thomas Haden Church will win. I think it's Morgan Freeman's turn. Easy Reader is an easy choice for BSA. And I think this is as good a place as any to note that I believe Paul Giamatti was robbed. Two years running, actually. He's an experienced, nuanced, deft comedic and dramatic actor, and deserves much more recognition than he gets. So, the "Esther" goes to PG for his Class-A work, AOK?

Best Supporting Actress: My nonexistent money's on Madsen. She was wonderful (and really well-lit) throughout Sideways, but Miss Kissy-at-the-Kotel Nat Portman might just steal this one away for her gyrations in Closer. Hopefully, if that happens, her acceptance speech will be less giggly than the one she "delivered" at the Golden Globes.

Best Actor's a done deal. Baby, it's all right. Oscar's got Jamie on its mind. Although the overly-critical will claim his performance was more imitation than actually inhabiting the character the way actors are supposed to. And I do have to give special props to Clint for his masterful performance as the flinty boxing coach who doesn't quite develop a heart of gold, but who does Learn a Valuable Lesson about judging people.

Best Actress: This is actually a really tough category--Catalina Sandino Moreno was amazing as the drug mule in Maria Full of Grace. And Kate Winslet was sheer rapture as the manic heroine of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Imelda Staunton's a wonderful actress (but won't win). And I know everyone loves the drama of the Bening/Swank Celebrity Oscar Deathmatch Revisited. I haven't seen Being Julia, but I'm still going with Swank. Oscar loves physical transformation and a drawn-out death scene.

Best Picture...Who the hell knows... I'd love to see Sideways win (I love me a little movie that could), but Oscar seems to shrink away from comedies. Because Oscar is an elitist scumbag, whose good graces I shall not again court until I actually become a nominee. Could be Finding Neverland, but probably not, because of the presence of Depp plus the subject matter (J.M. Barrie)--if a biopic wins, it will probably be the Aviator, which I haven't seen, but which apparently "soars." Ray was a one-note film ("Jeez, Jamie Foxx is totally great as Ray Charles!!"). Which leaves Million Dollar Baby. Clint, plus Hilary, plus Morgan, plus Clint again (doing double duty), IMHO, may just equal Oscar.

My only other Oscarpinion is that if there's any  justice, Charlie Kaufman will win Best Original Screenplay for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

Alas, I think my upcoming triple work deadline will keep me from liveblogging this year's Oscars, but I do hope to provide you with a recap later tonight...

Comments

[Plantation]

I agreed with your pix. Got Best Director right too. Was happy for all the winners. Was sad our girl Portman didn't win, but knew she had no chance. She'll win one though. Betcha.

[writersbloc gal]

you were close! wow... good stuff. I'm so behind in having seen the oscar pictures - i need to catch up on that.

[ck]

Sideways? Feh. Worst Oscar nominated movie ever. Come on Esther! One Oscar (for WRITING - ADAPTED SCREENPLAY) is one Oscar too many.

[Esther]

CK, you know I value your opinion and your friendship, so I hope you'll forgive me when I say "CK, you ignorant slut."

Lighting, great. Screenplay, great. Plot, mediocre. Acting, outstanding.

Plus, with this movie featuring a main character who's afraid that the next thing he writes is going to bomb and that all of his work and dedication to his craft will have been for nothing, I related to it on a personal/professional level more than a little bit.

Hoping we're still friends,

E