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Comments

Anonymous

Thanks Esther, for your words. I hope you take strength in your friends and family -- your loved and loving ones -- to see you through. We're all here with you. :-) May the New Year be a happy and blessed one! Happy Jesus' Bris Day!Peace.Fun Joel

annabel lee

Thank you so much for sharing your emotion and your heart. You write so honestly. I hope that 2005 will bring you peace, comfort, and joy. Take heart, dear heart, in the knowledge that you are not alone. You have people to hold onto, people who are rooting for you and rooting you, people who are proud to call you "friend."

H

Thank you Esther for sharing your honest words with us. Beautiful. Happy New Year.

Coelecanth

Entropy, inertia, decay, death, call it what you will everything in the universe is subject to it. Life is the only thing that fights against this, it creates, organizes, grows. Human life is the only thing (that we know of) that does this consciously, this is called Art.It doesn't matter if your Art, be it written, spoken, sculpted or played isn't remembered through the ages, it's the act that counts. Those acts of Art include everything: growing petunias, raising a child, fixing a broken toaster, comforting the sorrowful, cooking a meal, it all counts. Art is Life, Life is Art and Art matters.Every act of creation done consciously and with heart is a victory against entropy, indeed against death itself. This is small comfort to those confronting the death of someone close. I know, I lost my father before my 14th birthday. But it has got me through and continues to nourish and sustain me.Perhaps it is all "A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury signifing nothing." If it is, so be it. We can't change that. What we can change is how we feel about it. Death is inevitable, but so is Life. It's so common we forget to value it.Look, see, cherish, it's all around you. Act consciously, love conspicuously, be Artful in all your actions, it's all we can do.

Lyss

Part I puts into words what I have not been able to verbalize about my father's death (3 years ago this January). Thank you.

Plantation

E, first of all this is so beautifully written that I can't even come up with the appropriate adjectives to give you enough credit. Walking along the not-so-steady path this year has made me ask several of the same questions. I think all of us ask ourselves the same 'how did this happen and why' questions. Most times there are no answers so we deal with these tragedies, as you say, one day or one step at a time. I lost my dad in '92 and my grandma in '99. Lost a family friend in December (http://chasingtheamericandream.blogspot.com/2004/11/reality-bites.html). It's very cliche, but life indeed *is* too short. It took a while for me to internalize this concept. I guess the end result is my transformation to 'Garden State' man. It's sorta the WTF mentality. I'm happier attacking life and going for things now. If I fall on my face, so be it. So chin up, stay positive, keep writing, and go for it in '05. Your quirky jdater, blogger, writer pal...PT

Anonymous

I see you've transitioned into your "Woody Allen's Interiors" period. That was quick.

Esther

Thanks, everyone, for writing and for your support, and for sharing some of your difficult times with me here. Can anyone explain what Anonymous meant by my "Interiors phase"?

Anonymous

My guess is that the poster is referring to Interiors because it is Woody Allen's most serious and non-comedic movie.

Anonymous

And also his worst, filled with the sort of arthouse, bargain basement angst better left to undergraduates. Or bloggers

Gregory

I have to say that I've known some people personally who died, and their loss was almost universally less meaningful to me than the loss of people I hardly knew.Maybe because the differences between myself and the deceased are difficult to know when you only know them through the work they do that resonates with you. If I read someone who writes like I do, and they die, it is as if I have died myself. I have lost what they would have written.Whereas if someone I knew from high school died, well...I wrote off most people at my high school a long, long time ago. No big loss; I barely knew most of those people, and the rest have lives I know nothing about.Of course, I know even less about these other people, the people that I became acquaintances of through their writing or geekery.It's just that they're more like me in ways I find important, and I hate that someone else like me is gone.

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