Madonna loves Kabbalah. So she decides to adopt various customs, some of which are Jewish (not performing concerts on Friday nights) and others of which (Kabbalah candles) are not. She writes children's books on Kabbalah-related themes, wears tefilin and Hebrew letters tattoed on her arm in her videos, and dines out in kosher restaurants.
Britney loves Madonna, Kabbalah and getting married. So she reads Jewish mysticism poolside, dons the trendy red string bracelet and decides to get married in the world's first ever Kabbalah wedding.
Demi loved Bruce. But now she loves Ashton. And Demi and Ashton love Kabbalah, too, so they're going to get married in a Kabbalah ceremony in Israel.
The race to the newly erected Kabbalah altar has begun. Only their wedding planners know which celebrity couple will get there first...
Just a few of the questions that remain:
- Will the winner be Britney and Kevin, or Demi and Ashton?
- Will the weddings be kosher, or held on a major Jewish holiday?
- Does Bruce Willis have a date to Demi's wedding? And does he date only Baywatch babes, or would he consider expanding to include funny Jewish women of non-Baywatch body type who could use her Hebrew skills to help show him around Israel?
(Thank you, Bloghead, for the tip on this important and life-altering development.)