With apologies to my loved ones, I have to come clean and announce that I have transgressed against the Jewish people.
I have added Signs to my Netflix queue. Even though it stars Mel Gibson.
I'm very sorry for how this news will affect my family, most of all. I hope that the Jewish community will see fit to leave them out of any ensuing Jewish media tornadoes: this decision is mine alone.
And mom and dad: I hope you know that this does not signal my desire to increase the fortune of Mr. Gibson. I merely wished to see M. Night Shyamalan's movie before The Village is released next month. I didn't see it in the theater, but now, it's time.
This also does not signal a complete rejection of traditional Judaism. I'm still looking for a Jewish guy to build a future with, and I'm still a member in good standing of my synagogue. This is purely a pop cultural choice that has no impact on my future as an American Jew.
If this has in any way disappointed you, I sincerely apologize. It was not my intent to offend, but we all make choices in life that affect us first and others second. This is my choice.