MY URBAN KVETCH

"You've Got a Friend": Modern Dance Invades President's Conference

I'm all for modern expressions of friendship. But I can't help but wonder who approved this man-on-man interpretive dance tribute to the convivial relationship between Israel and America. Bear in mind, Israel has a very traditional (read: religious) population, and there were several world leaders (including notably conservative George Bush) in the audience.

This is only a small (and fairly benign) part of the dance. View it for yourself, and feel free to indulge in the following questions for group discussion:

1) Which dancer is Israel and which is America?

2) What is the point of the dance, that we're flitting past each other, always in each other's lives but almost never actually connecting?

3) The name of the song is "You've Got a Friend." Based on the dance, should it be "You've Got a Friend (With Benefits)"?

4) Was the person who approved this dance component a) fired, b) reprimanded, c) executed, or d) forced to flee to a city of refuge?

President's Conference Day 2 (cont'd): Jewish Leadership in the 21st Century

Featuring: Leslie Wexner (Wexner Foundation), Morlie Levin (Executive Director of Hadassah, WZOA), Erez Eshel (Israeli Academy for Leadership), Yechezkel Dror (JPPPI Founding President), Shalom Saar (Professor, MIT and University of Vienna)

Leslie Wexner noted the importance of mentorship and good values as the basis of leadership, and pointed to morality's roots in Judaism. "We began ethics and justice, and believe in a collective reality. It's important to have moral compass of humanity and civilization."

The reality of assimilation is the flip side of Jewish success and acceptance, said Morlie Levin, advising that leaders have to possess humility, be open to  new ideas, and demonstrate their learnings. Because organizational leaders are generally turned off by structures, organizations have to learn to create programmatic partnerships.

The standout, both because of his youth (age 39, which made him the youngest person on the panel) and because of his passionate delivery, was Erez Eshel, who unleashed--that's the only word for it-- a fiery sermon about leadership excellence. "If we want good leaders, we have to be excellent," he said. "Our leaders are the caricatures, a sometimes grotesque reflection of who we ourselves are. We are people of Truth." Then, in what was perhaps the only pop culture moment in the entire conference, he quoted "that TV show about Julliard" and said "You have to sweat." (I think he meant Fame and the LaGuardia High School of the Performing Arts, but I could be wrong.) "Judaism and leadership are connected," he stated. "Everyone has to be a leader. About dreams and dreamers...dreamers within a generation or two create reality."

Saar said that leadership is about compassion. "We are underled and over managed. Pirkey Avot has all the leadership advice we need. Without inner peace, you can't lead others. We need to mobilize people to help get them there in a way they never dreamed of." This, he concluded, takes self-reliance.

This session was the first one I attended that actually left time for questions at the end. Most of the questions didn't get answered, but the process of considering the questions was interesting.

The first question centered on the under-40 set. "Why are we not involved in the onstage discussion?" one woman demanded.

One rabbi in attendance noted that leadership has changed because of technology. "There are lots of Indians, and very little interest in anyone being Chief," he said, citing the internet's providing equal access to information as having bred an incompetent laity, and a distrust of leadership hierarchy.

"You will never be invited [to be on the panels]," one panelist advised. "You need to take responsibility so next year they'll invite you."

International Language

Shared language creates an intimacy, even among people who have never met before. They feel chemistry in these moments of cultural confluence. When a couple is really getting along, experiences and speech patterns often sync up until both members develop a kind of special language — from the “aww, you’re my schmoopie” exchanged nauseatingly in front of single friends, to callbacks to prior experiences or the familiarity they’ve established.

My longest linguistic love affair to date is with the State of Israel. Israel, now 60 (or older, depending on how you’re counting), is the December to my May, and we communicate in Hebrew, of course. My educational background gave me a head start. Because my vocabulary came from Hebrew literature classes and from the classical texts we studied, my language developed as vital background toward understanding Israel: the equivalent of Googling Israel Hebraically to learn everything I could before we met, and establishing an instant history. (Not that anyone would ever do that for a potential romantic partner.)

[excerpt from last week's Jewish Week singles column, the second to last one I'll be writing...check out the complete article here]

Shabbat Shalom from Jerusalem

A room with a view...this is the living room in my apartment in Jerusalem. It's not just the photo...that palm tree is enormous.

The sun is slipping slowly down into the sky as Shabbat approaches in Jerusalem, and the city's bustle has already begun to fade as people get ready for shul and family dinners.

Next week, I'll continue the gargantuan task of recapping the conference and getting ready for the ROI Summit.

Until then, wishing you all a Shabbat of peace, with love from Jerusalem.

Adventures in Israeli Cuisine, Or "What's This on My Plate?"

(If you're averse to stories of the gastronomically adventurous, do not read this post. Or rather, read this post, but don't blame me...)

When you keep kosher, one of the annoying things about living in the Diaspora is the fact that your restaurant and dining options are limited. Even if you are flexible enough to eat non-meat items in in non-kosher restaurants, you're constantly asking "is this vegetarian?" In Israel, especially in Jerusalem, this is less of a problem, with a host of available options (both prices and cuisines) of both meat and dairy varieties. It's one of the things that makes Jerusalem so appealing for kosher kids like me.

So last night I went to Marvad Haksamim, a tasty German Colony restaurant that offers a menu of both Yemenite and Moroccan cuisine, with two friends. And we ordered like kids in a candy store, sampling a bunch of things from their menu, including delicious couscous with vegetables, mejura (a lentil and rice combination) and "Jerusalem mixed grill." Now, whenever I've ordered mixed grill in the States, the mix consists of chicken, beef and sometimes lamb. At worst, the third item in the mix would be liver, which many people don't like, but I never minded.

But while the dish that arrived definitely seemed to include chicken and some delicious onions, the other components looked like a bunch of olives. On further inspection, the "olives" were definitely meat, but I had my first kosher "what kind of meat is this, anyway?" experience. Whatever it was, it was kosher, so I speared one on a fork and down it went. It wasn't bad--having been grilled with onions and spices, it was tasty. But the consistency...I couldn't shake the feeling that I was eating something that I wouldn't have ordered off the menu if it hadn't been camouflaged by my American assumption of what defined "mixed grill," something that I might have last seen when I dissected a frog back in high school.

I ate a few of them before my friends started poking at them and wondering what it was. They asked the waitress, who gave us a Hebrew word, "tchol." While the word didn't mean anything to me, I knew that
my initial instinct (which I admit, based on my frog experience, was "lungs") was wrong. I knew the words for "heart" and "kidneys" (thanks, Yom Kippur davening!), so I knew neither of them was on my plate. When we asked what that was in English, the waitress motioned to her midsection and talked about dvarim pnimi'im ("inner things"). This was not good. The description was basically the biological equivalent of calling something "mixed grill"--as if saying, "we know where it came from, generally, but we're not sure exactly where..."

That description was enough--we were done with unidentified meats. After our meal, the other waitress explained that "tchol" translated to spleen. That's right, spleen. While I could give you a biological definition, as a writer, I feel compelled to share that the spleen was traditionally considered to be the seat of ill-humour and melancholy.

So if I seem sad or ill-tempered, don't blame me. Blame it on the spleen.

And now, a link to the SNL transcript of "Theodoric of York, Medieval Barber."

President's Conference, Day 2: Morning Plenary, Writers' Panel

More Day 2 highlights...

Morning plenary

Kissinger starts off the morning, and tells a joke. "If I speak longer than fifteen minutes, a trap door will open up and swallow me. On the other hand, if I do speak longer than fifteen minutes, you can all say you were present at this historic occasion." (Not funny? Read it again, but like Kissinger.) He proceeds to talk about his connection to Israel, and address some of the issues -- like the environment, energy, proliferation, education and others -- that we're all dealing with on a global level.

Amos Oz speaks beautifully about Israel. "As a dream come true," he notes, "Israel has a touch of disappointment to it. The only way to keep it perfect is to never live it out...it is not in the nature of dreams to be fully fulfilled." He also shared some relateable observations, like that he loves Israel "even at times when I cannot stand it." He noted that the Jews have no Pope, basically because if we had one, he'd constantly get hit up for favors from people claiming connections to his relatives and friends from the old country. He also observed that finding a solution to the Israeli/Arab / Israeli/Palestinian conflict is the heaviest shadow over Israeli life and the most urgent task is resolving security.

I am called away to be interviewed by a camera crew, so I miss speeches by Abby Joseph Cohen and Bernard Henri-Levy. No worries, writers' panel to come. (See Writers Discussing Tomorrow post.)

Lunch session/Tomorrow Through the Eyes of Nobel Laureates

One in five Nobel Laureates are Jewish, Shimon Peres says. Several of the Laureates shared some of their research with us. Although I recognized that they're all brilliant, and were really articulate and engaging, I'm still too tired, and much of it went over my head. Walter Kohn spoke about R&D for alternative clean energy. Roger David Kornberg talked about the evolution of medicine, and how medical advances are usually the unexpected products of a quest for knowledge. He is the second Nobel Laureate in his family, so I'd officially hate to be his kid. Game theorist Roger Myerson insisted that if there's a secret key to peace, we need to find it. "We need a common vision of justice stitched from the traditions of both communities,"he said. Eric S. Maskin talked about climate change, and that it involves many other issues, like politics, the environment and science.

Elie Wiesel concluded the session noting that globalization is "not really reality." Global terror began here, he said. "Because it wasn't stopped, it spread. Fanaticism is the hatred of the other. It is a noble endeavor to [try to] restore justice," he said, noting that he was not a fan of Gandhi's because Gandhi had encouraged Europe's Jews to commit suicide -- in what would have been a 20th Century Masada -- rather than fight back when attacked by the Nazis. That way, Gandhi said, the Jews deaths will not have been for nothing. Wiesel, obviously, thought this was colossally bad advice. "Our obsessions are to bring consolation to those who need it," he said.

Coming tomorrow...reports on today's New Jewish Leaders session and the panel about whether Jewish identity is unraveling or renewing itself...plus, special footage and photos from the adult mega-event special event honoring the mutual love shared by Israel and the United States....isn't it romantic? Stay tuned!

President's Conference, Day 2: Writers Discussing Tomorrow

[EDK note: Will be posting in sections--easier to write, and hopefully easier to read, too.]

A good moderator can make all the difference. Or would have, if we had had a good moderator. Still, the voices, including Jonathan Safran Foer, Nathan Englander (sporting the newer shorter hair, if any of you Englander fans are interested), and Nicole Krauss representing American writers; Erri DeLuca representing Italian Hebreophiles; and Araidi Naim and Yehudit Katzir on the Israeli side, were varied and worth hearing, even if the questions that they were answering weren't the most clearly phrased, and even if some of what the writers said smacked of literary elitism.

In answering the opening question, about the impact of an era in which everyone is internet writing, JSF noted that what bloggers do is not writing, comparing it to a painter who paints a wall rather than a piece of art. (Ouch.) "Literature is rareified and is meant to be," he said, noting that traditionally the most important art rises from the periphery. Krauss noted that there's no definition of the novel that any of us would agree on. The internet, she noted, is a superficial communication. "People don't expect it to be relevant for more than just a day." (Given the fact that I completely disagree with JSF and Krauss on the potential of the internet in terms of creating both worthwhile content and meaningful, sustainable connections--my presence in the room was proof that it can be done--I doubt I'll be invited to dinner at their place anytime soon.)

DeLuca and Naim spoke eloquently about their passion for the Hebrew language; DeLuca, an Italian, observed that "today's pogrom is against the shtetly of Israel," while Naim, an Israeli Arab talked about the worldwide trend that literature is rapidly becoming the work of editors, and not writers, as the business becomes more about what can make money. "The poet who wants to create poetry with depth. and meaning can't find an audience," he noted.

Katzir talked about the experience of writing and reading in the age of television, observing that children read books, and see them in their minds like movies.

Englander spoke of writing as a craft, and opined that if stories are well-crafted, they will resonate; "if literature is meant to die, it will die," he said, but noted that it's not likely. The pyramids stay relevant, he said, or they'd make them into malls. "The writer's obligation is only to story. If the goal is shaping other people, the writer's already corrupted." He later noted that fiction, done write, should resonate no matter where or when it's read--he cited his enjoyment of Voltaire as proof. "If fiction spoils, it's a problem. The soul of a story is not a conscious choice. It needs to be written in a primal way."

One moment of drama/dramatic irony: midway through the session, there was a power outage of both lights and microphones, plunging the panel into silent darkness, and causing an Israeli in my row to quip, "I guess not everything is illuminated."

President's Conference: Day 1 (In Brief)

So here's the short report on the first day of the President's Conference, since I'm too tired to do a real post until later. There were a bunch of Jews there. Many of them were Israeli. Many others were from ROI (and representing several countries). During the dinner buffet, the food tables were mobbed and the bar was pretty open and accessible (with an excellent Cabernet available). Security was tight, and included the regular spate of bag-checkpoints, metal detectors, and the swabbing down of each person's hands with some sort of magic material that apparently read palms and indicated if you'd fired a gun or had anarchistic tendencies, or something. (I think it's the same magic material that they wave at your electronics during those special searches at the airports these days. Cool stuff, if that's actually what it is.)

Lots of Presidents in attendance. Countries represented at opening panel -- moderated by Tony Blair and simulcast in translation on special headphones that sometimes even worked -- included Albania, Croatia, Latvia, Mongolia, Poland, Rwanda, Slovenia, Uganda, Ukraine, Pulau and Burkina Faso, and a closing note from Mikhail Gorbachev, who's looking a little like Ed Asner these days. Each world leader was given five minutes to state their vision for the future. With the time so tight, there was no chance for debate or questions; this meant that each message was terse and similar, with the country's representative noting that we live in an era of globalization and that Israel can help and serve as inspiration. Not a bad message, if a little generic. Nothing earth-shattering. A few interesting notes to come when I have time to read my handwriting and transcribe it.

Non-political celebrities spotted? One: Famous actress Gila Almagor. Which proves that I actually watch all those Israeli movies I rent on Netflix.

Opening gala event performances were a little weak. More on that tomorrow. (Just too tired.) Unintentional highlights include moments via the roving celebrity visitors cam, which caught a few people scratching their noses, others wearing their headphones creatively, and Ehud Olmert winking at the camera during Hatikvah.

If you want more news from Jerusalem, you might want to check out  www.JerusalemOnline.com -- which broadcasts a daily video news update from Israel in English, as well as other Israeli content in fields such as security and intelligence, real estate, hi-tech, tourism, entertainment, etc.

PresenTense Group Receives AVI CHAI Fellowship

The AVI CHAI Foundation has announced that it is allocating up to $1.15 million over the course of the next three years to four individuals and one team of two whom it has selected as the first recipients of The AVI CHAI Fellowship. It won't surprise any of you who follow the Jewish innovation beat to learn that the "team of two" is that of Beery and Horwitz--Ariel and Aharon are sharing the fellowship, with the goal of "expanding PresenTense Magazine and the PresenTense Institute for Creative Zionism to form a corps of forward-thinking social and communal pioneers, specially trained for the Information Age."

The other fellows and their projects are:

Dr. Betsy Dolgin Katz, writing a book about the development of adult Jewish learning against the backdrop of contemporary America society; Rabbi Elie Kaunfer, who is working on the expansion of Yeshivat Hadar beyond its present parameters, allowing the institution to have a national and potentially global influence; Rabbi Dov Linzer, who is creating a rabbinical school curriculum for educators, allowing the Orthodox rabbinate to gain enhanced pedagogical training, so that they are better trained to be Day School educators; and Rabbi Menachem Schmidt, who is expanding innovative Jewish programming in the Philadelphia area.

This program constitutes the largest cash award -- $75K per fellow or team per year -- to emerging communal and educational leaders within the North American Jewish community. The award will go towards their proposed activities, the purpose of The AVI CHAI Fellowship is to advance and promote the individual winners as important forces in building a vital American Jewish future built upon these values.

More than 40 nominations were submitted by twenty nominators (18 located in the United States and 2 in Israel) and the seven members of the selection committee met privately over the course of four months. The AVI CHAI Fellowship was kept under wraps and the nominators and selections committee remained anonymous so that the integrity of the nomination and selection process not be compromised. Winners were informed of their achievement in late April.

President's Conference Diary, Day 1: Pre-Conference Contemplation

The President's Conference "Facing Tomorrow" is due to start a bit later today at the Israel Convention Center, and I'm excited and overwhelmed in advance. I've stuffed about a hundred business cards into my handbag, and am hoping no one confiscates my phone at the entrance because of security. People I know from all over the world are coming, and there are of course all the other people--local and international, same-generational and both older and younger--we'll all be meeting over the next three days. I'm meeting up with the generationally appropriate KolDor group for networking first, and partying later. Some of those people are in my Twitter community, and I've never met them before. And that's just the social scene.

In addition, there will be varied sessions and high-level presenters. It's not that I won't miss Mark Zuckerberg, who supposedly canceled, but there are lots of other voices to hear, and I'm hoping that some of them will reinfuse us all with a spirit of renewed passion and enthusiasm.

And of course, there's the residual fear--that a gathering this large and prominent will attract the wrong kind of attention. There's already one group that is planning to release 21,915 (365 days x 60 years) black balloons over Jerusalem, to turn the skies black in tribute to the Palestinian cause:

So there's that. And they've asked people to wear black in solidarity on Thursday, which is a memo that many New Yorkers may receive and ignore, or not receive at all. But overall, this should be a conference to remember, and I'm already feeling lucky to be here.

More blogging--hopefully from the promised "available on-site computers"--later.

May in Jerusalem

Greetings from Jerusalem, everyone, where my phone doesn't work yet, typos abound and I'm inexplicably up by 5:30 am. 'Tis a city wherein we discover our great contrasts.

The flight was fine--we were in one of El Al's new planes, with souped up entertainment systems so new that they weren't working for most of the flight. But theoretically, the entertainment featured about eight movies, several TV shows from Israel and the US (24, which I'd never watch on a plane; some Israeli dramas, and an Israeli video music channel that featured a clip in which a woman shacks up with a Muppetish thing: they do seem happy together, though...), and several music channels. Lindsay and I managed to watch "Juno" together before we and the system conked out. Then, once the systems were up again, we went to the "Games" section and played some Tetris against each other on our personal handsets/remotes. (If you've ever flown Virgin Atlantic, you might be familiar with this type of system.) Hopefully, once the kinks are worked out, this system will rule and make life easier, especially for those of us who have trouble sleeping on planes.

The new plane features three sets of three seats in each row across. This means no section of five in the middle, which is great. There's decent legroom underneath the seat if I stretched out my legs straight. But who can sleep like that? Any other position seemed uncomfortable. Had a neck pillow, but it made my neck warm, so I couldn't use it for extended periods of time. Also, cool lighting in the morning made waking up seem very loungey, which was nice. But the food seemed less edible than I'd remembered, which was disappointing, because that El Al breakfast is usually so nice, varied and fresh. Still, a decent flight all told.

A driver picked us up and drove us to Jerusalem...the spiraling ascent to the city was peppered with flags all along the route, and once we were inside the city, smaller flags were posted on people's cars, maintaining the sense of energy and celebration that people undoubtedly felt last week in celebrating the country's 60th. While the weather was a bit overcast yesterday, the air, as always, is wonderful.

We were in Jerusalem all of two hours before we went to dinner (at Caffit, in case you're wondering) and noticed they were serving "Beagle Toast." (Tough luck, Snoopy. Good grief.)

More reports from Jerusalem--and from tomorrow's President's Conference--to come.

Next Post in Jerusalem

The President's Conference is next week, and I'm flying right after Shabbat. Which means that this is my last post from American soil until August. But luckily, they have internets in Israel too, even more accessible than it is here, in some places. So I hope to be back to blogging as early as Sunday night, from holy ground, which means that I will be barefoot when doing said blogging.

But in the interim, I leave you with this poorly filmed, incredibly short segment from a Hebrew sketch comedy program called "Ktzarim" (literally, "shorts"). The program itself is pretty incredible, in that their sketches are terse--no extra drawn-out "this sketch is too long" moments--just pithy hilarity. But it also displays an incredibly uniquely Israeli sense of humor, as you can see from this clip. Shabbat shalom, and l'hitraot!

Pre-Blog: Prospective Band Names

Circa 1998 or so, a list of names for my non-existent band, some inspired by real-life events:

External Sources of Confusion
Let Me In: The Locked Door Experience
Alternate Forms of Cancer
Ready When You Are
Social Commentary
Space for Rent
Frank Lee Scarlett and the Damn-Givers
Cajun Living
Flash Cards
Vicarious Pasta
Carbon-Based Life Forms
Save Before You Quit
A Place LIke Home
Princess Looseleaf
Cornish Game Hens
Vegetarian Leather
Brand New Thesaurus
Radical Templates
Five Stoned Beatniks
Flying Yogurt Lids
Suicidal Fish
Lawyers on the Ocean Floor
Intro to Physics
Diplomatic Acts
No Apparent Reason
Marcy and the Pet Peeves
Pedestrian Audacity
Pet Supremacy
Miscellaneous Expenditures
Severed Digits
Dogs With Names
Anonymous Pets
Grammatically Incorrect

What's your favorite?

How to Celebrate Yom Ha'atzmaut (Even If You're Not in Israel)

People sometimes get weird about celebrating Independence Day for a country in which they do not reside. But the beauty of Israel is that there are lots of ways to celebrate-- gastronomically and culturally--that are easy, fun and tasty, so here are a few I've thought of. Feel free to suggest others! (Will be revised as possible throughout the day.)

Upload a photo series that you think presents the transition between Israel's Memorial Day and Independence Day. (Um, see above.)

Drink Limonana (lemonade mixed with fresh mint)--easier than ever now that Cosi has added it to the menu. But really best to make it yourself.

Eat falafel or shwarma. Duh. Or Israeli salad.

Watch "Ktzarim" or "Eretz Nehederet" on YouTube. You can really get a sense for a culture through its humor, and especially on "Ktzarim" (which literally means "shorts"), the pieces are just the right length, a skill which SNL sometimes forgets.

Do NOT drink Manischewitz. I mean, drink it if you really prefer it for kiddush, but Israel's got a whole host of wineries and varietals to choose from. Check out Yarden, Golan, Galil, Barkan, Tishbi and others--available in supermarkets in Israel (which rocks)--or if you're in Israel, try them out at the annual Jerusalem Wine Festival at the Israel Museum (scheduled for mid-July).

Listen to Galgalatz. Not only will this popular channel on Israeli radio give you a decent understanding of how eclectic the music scene in Israel is, but over Yom Ha'atzmaut, they're doing 60 hours of programming that was programmed by various army units who are currently serving on this national holiday.

Join the Worldwide Live Hatikvah...sing Israel's national anthem at the same time as thousands of others all over the world!

Check out the Israel issue of PresenTense Magazine, now online in all its glory!

Buy a second (or a third!) cell phone. Make sure to take them all with you at all times, and if you sit down to eat with friends, put all your phones in a row (or pile, depending on how many you have) on the table. This shows someone that you are very important, to two, sometimes three sets of separate people. You're complicated. And so's Israel.

Read about all the people using Israel60 as a marketing tool, and inventing things the world never needed, like hummus flavored ice cream. Yuck.

View one of the Israel tribute videos that are running around the internet. (Tasha and Dishka and the Carsitters for Birthright Israel, Yael Naim for Israel 21C et al...)

Check out the one-time-only blogcarnival of posts about Israel @ 60.

Create a Yom Ha'atzmaut playlist on iTunes. Mine's got everything from Hatikvah to hip-hop. Details to come in a separate post...

Read the 60bloggers blog, start to finish...or at least until today. Read about people's journeys and Israel experiences--it's amazing how they all differ.

Have Israel-related contests with your friends. Ask trivia questions, for instance:

Which of the following is not an Israeli snack?
a) Kif-keyf
b) Bamba
c) Kookiot
d) Krembo

Subscribe to Davy1031's channel on YouTube. He regularly posts video clips of Israeli musical artists that include usually at least one set of subtitles (either Hebrew or English, and often both). So catch the lyrics and learn to understand them. The next time you go to a Subliminal concert, how awesome would it be to know all the lyrics to "Toro" and understand them?

Happy Israeli Independence Day, everyone!!

You Hear It First: Israel Independence Day Edition

It's still Yom Hazikaron in New York, but in Israel, after a somber day of remembering the men and women who fell in battle, Israelis have already transitioned into Israeli  Independence Day, a holiday that ushers in a summer of celebration.

Months ago, I posted about the new collaboration between Subliminal and classical Israeli folk band Gevatron. I proudly present the newly YouTubed "Bat Shishim" music video. (How new? I was view #9.)

For a version with Hebrew subtitles, see here. I've been looking for the English translation-- I know I saw it somewhere--but for now, here's my translation of the chorus:

For she is true, and not a symbol, nor a flag, nor a sign.
The past now behind her, she looks forward to what is coming.

Kol Hakavod to Israel on her 60th birthday.